An Ounce of Prevention

According to my husband, I am a big sigher.  Apparently I sigh a lot and when I do, I sigh with meaning.  Happy contented sighs.  Or, the “loaded sigh”-they apparently show signs of frustration, discontent and general disapproval.  I am capable of communicating quite a bit of information in the simple act of sighing.  After 12 years of marriage my husband has become an expert sigh reader!

I thought about this as I read Jeremiah 25:3-4.  He starts off by saying “For twenty-three years…”  I wonder if he started off with a loaded sigh before the words ever left his mouth.?  Also, in my head I hear him saying these words in the old Vermonter accent (which is very different from Boston by the way).  It gives his words a sense of wry irony, glum humor and utter disgust that he’s having to tell them the same thing yet AGAIN!  He goes on:

“the word of the Lord has come to me, and I have spoken persistently to you, but you have not listened.  And though the Lord persistently sent you all his servants the prophets, you have neither listened nor inclined your ears to hear…”

It’s a serious message that he’s giving them-turn from your ways so the Lord doesn’t have to punish you.  I can see in my minds eye the members of the royal court, rolling their eyes thinking “here we go again!  The crackpot is back!”  On the other side I can picture Jeremiah thinking “here we go again!  How many times do I have to tell you the same thing???”  I’m thinking that Jeremiah and the other Prophets did a lot of sighing over the years!

Same thing happens today, doesn’t it?  Your children are proposing to do something that you know is going to end in disaster and you try to reason with them and they look at you as if you have suddenly grown three heads!  “Don’t worry” they say “it’s all under control!”  Then, they are stunned when things don’t work out and you, as the parent, are stunned as to why they couldn’t see the obvious!  And you have to hold back the urge to say “I told you so!”  (In all honesty, sometimes we parents don’t hold back on the “I told you so” response but we do try to be diplomatic.)  Our hope is that they learned a valuable lesson from the experience, but there is frustration with the fact that they had to learn the lesson the hard way!

Life is like that.  Sometimes we listen to wise counsel and avert disaster.  Other times, we plunge head long into doing the same things expecting a different result and all we end up with is disaster and frustration on the other end.  The lesson from Jeremiah should be a reminder to all of us!  Whether it is family or friends or church, sometimes we need to stop and truly listen to what another person is saying.  It is too easy to dismiss the words of others, particularly if they do not line up with the scenario that we have hatched in our head!  Granted, there are individuals in the world who criticize anything and everything-they are usually pretty easy to spot.  They are the ones who, on a sunny day, will tell you that it’s only temporary cause clouds will soon be on the way.  Their message is neither helpful nor hopeful, so take what they have to say with a grain of salt.  The people you need to heed are the folks who have your best interest at heart.  They are not out to hurt you and you need to recognize that fact!  God doesn’t always send “whoa wait” messages in flashy symbols, generally he sends the message through people.  If the person is someone who truly cares about you and only wants the best for you then it is important to pause and listen to what they have to say.  Then take it to the Lord and ask for discernment.  Are their words spoken because they are afraid that you will get hurt?  Or, are the words spoken because they are trying to help you avert disaster?  There are points in life when a critic can be your very best friend if you listen carefully and wisely to their words.

The lesson for today is listen now so you don’t have to listen to someone say “I told you so” later on!  Or as the old sage saying goes, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!

Notes from Around the Blog World

It's snowing here in Missouri!  Not a lot of snow and it is not a steady snow but there was just enough to slick up the roads and cause lots of accidents this morning!

Closer to home, I have had a fun filled and exciting time breaking the ice off of the top of the water troughs for the animals.  So, rather than attempt to write a quick blog post that I am not going to do justice to, I'm just going to link you to some good blogs worth reading!

Allan R. Bevere had two really good blog posts in the last couple of days:
90% of Americans Believe in God, Gallup is unimpressed
Jesus is Not Paula Deen

My friend Craig Adams posted some information on Good ole St. Nick!
Old St. Nick

And a good reminder from Dan Dick!
Occupy Christmas

My children are anxiously watching out the window hoping for some more snow!  Me, I just want to wrap my hands around a warm mug of hot chocolate!  It would be nice to regain some feeling in my fingers!  They're just a tad stiff from breaking up that ice! 

Enjoy!

It's All About Caring Enough to Share

I have a good friend who has been going through a tough time.  He has been incredibly courageous confronting this hideous disease called Cancer.  My friend, over the years has given much to the community through his teaching and coaching and his example of just being an all around great guy!  His family is a treasured part of FUMC Washington's faith community!

So, some of our members decided it was time to do something to help.  We're hosting a dinner and asking for free-will donations.  It's time that we step up to not just help out with prayers and presence but to help out practically with finances.  Co-pays, medicine, transportation costs-that's not cheap!  There are some brilliant people planning and coordinating this event.  I'm not the brilliant one, all I did was post it to our church Face Book page and start sending out invites.

But wow!  What an impact already!  We have 122 followers on the First United Methodist Church, Washington, Missouri Face Book page.  I posted the event somewhere around 7:00 last night (so it hasn't even been a full 24 hours).  As of 9:40, we had 45 confirmed attendees, 24 "maybe" responses, and 34 "unable to attend" but here's the big whopper number-there are still 763 outstanding RSVP requests for a total of 866.  Two hours earlier, that total number was 662.  I did not send out all of those invites!  I don't think the other administrators on our Face book page sent out all of those invites.  This has happened because friends invited friends who invited friends.  One by one, "word of mouth", spread the word!  My oh my, how the word has spread!

I am so incredibly grateful and humbled by this small community who are coming out in droves to help!  They care enough to share in the "for better" and the "for worse" times in people's lives!  This is community.  This is Christian faith and fellowship at work.  This, my darling friends and readers, is what it's all about!

Here's what Paul said in Hebrews 13 (The Message Paraphrase):

"Make sure you don't take things for granted and go slack in working for the common good; share what you have with others."

I intend to be there on November 5th to do what I can to help.  If you happen to be in the Washington, Missouri area on that day come on by!  Care enough to share-that's what we do in our walk of faith!

It's nice to hang out with brilliant, caring people!

I Love Her Because of Her Indomitable People

Photo by Amy James

As I write this, I am keenly aware that the flooding threat from Irene is not over with.  New Jersey is evacuating people by boat from their homes because the water is still rising.  The water is rising in Connecticut as well.  My prayers go out to all those who are effected.

Photo by Denis Boucher

The news from Vermont is better than yesterday, but far from over with, as far as recovery.  The state officials have managed to get to 12 out of the 13 towns that were cut off from supplies.  Clean up efforts are underway, but there is a long way to go!  And there are still people who are stuck where they are because the roads are still inaccessible.

Photo by Sandy Dibbell

My cousin, experienced this first hand.  Rose was actually able to make it home to Camels Hump after being stuck in Burlington for two days.  She described the drive like this: "picture a road made of soft chocolate with dips and curves and a space barely wide enough for a car, the road falling away as you drive."  She got in but she wasn't so sure she was getting back out today, but she was grateful to finally be home!

I was talking to my sister last night, as she was busy baking muffins and coffee cake to bring to the local fire station this morning.   She mentioned how God seems to give you what you need, when you need it.  She had read Psalm 69 that morning:

"Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck.  I sink in the deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me.  I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched.  My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God."

I think a lot of people in Vermont felt that way initially.  The disaster was overwhelming!  In this situation people have two choices.  They can think "every man for himself".  Or, they can think "every neighbor helping neighbor."  They chose the second option!  People pitched in to help those they knew, and those they didn't know at all, in cleaning up what was left behind.  There were individuals who pulled out their ATVs, Mountain bikes, even horses to get in to areas that had been cut off, in order to check on people and to bring in supplies.  Message boards sprang up to share photos and information and offer assistance.  Everyone was in this together and everyone was doing what they could to help others.  One of the best articles I saw on this, was in the Burlington Free Press.  Message From Rochester 

Photo by Sandy Dibbell

My sister said that Psalm 69 reminded her that it was time to stop wallowing and time to start helping.  Many of my friends have said the same thing!  My friend Amy, who was one of the first people to post pictures from my hometown, is working with the local Little League to gather supply donations to distribute to those in need.  Another friend, Alan, worked tirelessly to get the water out of the basement at Wesley United Methodist church.  There are many many people doing similar things because they understand the importance of faith in action and showing love to your neighbors.  They also understand that everyone is their neighbor, even the stranger!

Photo by Denis Boucher

Photo by Amy James

My friends, Amy James, Sandy Dibbell and my brother in law, Denis Boucher, were kind enough to give me permission to share some of their photos with you.  I can describe the devastation to you, but a picture is worth a thousand words!  These photos were taken after the water had gone down-it was actually much worse!  Amy and Denis posted photos from my hometown of Waterbury.  My friend Sandy lives near Cavendish/Reading area and her photos are from that area.  All over the state, the photos are similar, the destruction aftermath is major!

I could say that Vermont is down but not out but I don't think that's a true statement.  Vermont isn't down!  Vermonters are just dusting themselves off and rolling up their sleeves to get to work!  Vermonters are tough and resilient and they have brought out the very best in each other!  I am so very proud of my home state and the way that they have banded together!  President Calvin Coolidge had a wonderful quote attributed to him and it is the inspiration for the title of this blog post:

"Vermont is a state I love...I love Vermont because of her hills and valleys, her scenery and invigorating climate, but most of all, I love her because of her indomitable people."

I have shared with you about Vermont because Vermont is what I know!  But I also know that there are similar stories all over the northeast, mid-Atlantic and south and that is a reason to celebrate!   In our jaded society people have not forgotten the golden rule.  Kindness and caring do still exist!  Faith is still alive and well!

For those of you who are wanting to help out, I know the United Methodist Committee on Relief has something set up for North Carolina and the Pennsylvania area but I have not seen anything specific for New England.  When I do, I will post a link.   If you would like to help out in Vermont specifically, the Stowe Reporter posted an article online with specific links to organizations where you can donate.

Ways to Help Vermont Flood Victims

To my friends and family back home, I am with you in spirit!  I love you all-you indomitable people!

Celebrate! Time for Family and Friends

Today is another celebration day at our house!  My youngest son, Randy, turns 11 today.  My how time flies!  Not only does he pick his cake but he gets his choice of dinner as well!  It is a family tradition!  And of course, there are presents but the big event is the celebration, not the gifts!

When I stop and reflect, I am always amazed at the changes I see in my children.  Subtle changes perhaps, but there always seems to be glimpses of who they will become and who they might turn out to be.  With Randy in particular because of Asperger's even the subtle changes are huge victories!  A "normal" kid with "quirks" learning how to successfully cope with a world that doesn't think like he does and doesn't deal well with someone who isn't like everyone else-let me tell ya, those are hard won victories!  Any challenge that my children overcome is worthy of celebration because it is the small victories that keep us going and keep us sane!

I've been reminded of this as I have spent time reminiscing with former and current residents of my hometown of Waterbury.  It's not about things that we bought.  It's about places we went and times spent together.  And it is about celebrating the people who made these events possible.  Everyone is sharing their stories, their memories and even some photos for a wonderful trip down memory lane!  It's about swimming at the old swimming hole or roller skating in the school gym.  It's about the police chief who would take a young teen home instead of hauling them off to jail.  It's about the fact that if you did something, good or bad,  your parents knew about it before you got home because everyone knew their neighbors and they kept an eye out for each other.  This was and still is a community that cared about each other and cared for each other.  The stories that are told about places we used to go and events we used to attend reflect this subtle understanding of just how special this community has been in our lives.  They are connections worth celebrating!

Proverbs has a couple of wonderful gems on the importance of family and friends.  Chapter 17 in The message paraphrase says this:

"Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble"

Here's another one from Chapter 18:

"Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family."

 Our society tells us that we should obsess over what we do not have.  We should, by default, always strive for more instead of celebrating what we already have in front of us.  I would like to suggest that instead of striving for "things" how about striving for something that in the long run really matters?  How about striving to connect more with family and friends?  We all long for that sense of community and that sense of belonging!  Why not celebrate those connections with those we love the most-our family and friends!  And who says that it has to be a carefully planned elaborate affair?  Some of the best get-togethers happen when someone just stops by to say hello!  These are your friends and your family-they know what you look like without makeup and they know what your house looks like with a sink full of dishes!  These are people who have shared your joys and your sorrows.  They have been a part of your fun times and they have been in on the scrapes and bumps along the way.  Through thick or thin they have been there!  What you have doesn't matter to them.  What matters to them is you!  Give yourself permission to just enjoy being with them!

Share a cup of coffee or cup of tea!  Share a donut and a good joke.  Get a group together to go to a picnic in the park or Chicken Pie Supper at the local church.  Fire up the grill or roast marshmallows around the fire pit.  Take time to celebrate the simple ordinary things with those that matter most-your family and friends!  These are the moments that memories are made from.  The moments that count are the moments that you share with those who truly care! 

Make time to celebrate!

School Days-Let's All Pray

Robert starts his first day of Senior year today.  It's hard to tell, but I do think he is excited about going back to school!  Not only will he get to see his friends but he also chose to take a pretty challenging course load this year which includes some Advanced Placement classes where he can earn some college credits.  He's a Senior, top of the heap, at the head of the pecking order in high school hierarchy.  I am so incredibly proud of him and his friends!

Senior year is really the only year of high school that I remember with some fondness.  That was the year when the social cliques formed in Freshmen and Sophomore years started to crumble and you started talking with other students in your class who were not part of your "inner circle".  That's when you started talking about what happens next and you started to field the question "what are you going to do after high school?"  Yup, Senior year was a lot of fun because suddenly everything that defined your world up to that point didn't matter quite so much.  It was the year of expanding horizons and lots of hope for the future mixed with a whole lot of questions!

There is one moment though, that I think really summed up Senior year for me, the moment when I decided that I didn't care what anyone else thought and chose to do the right thing.  I had actually forgotten about this until years later when my mother had a chance encounter with one of the young ladies directly impacted by a split second decision in a very crowded lunchroom during the beginning of the school year.

At my high school there was no such thing as grade level lunchtimes.  There were two separate lunch periods but it was a mixed bag of students from Freshmen to Seniors.  Every "group" had their "official" table spaces and there was an unwritten rule that you did not tread upon someone else's table turf.  Jocks at one table, computer geeks at another, musically inclined in their spot-the typical clique breakdown.  I happened to be involved with the drama club so that meant sitting with the music/art/drama group, which I had been a part of for my entire time in high school.  We had some new additions to drama club that year-some incoming freshmen so I knew some of the younger kids from the drama group but didn't know them well.  Two young freshmen ladies also had the same lunch period as we well established seniors and they hadn't quite found their group yet.  It was still early in the year but the tables had already filled up and they needed to find a place to sit for lunch!  They tried sitting at a couple of tables but were stopped by those already sitting there.  It got worse.  Some Freshman boys decided that they were mock worthy and started harassing them as they stood there with their trays in the middle of the lunchroom looking for a place to sit.  The boys blood sport started attracting attention.  I will never forget the look on Karen's face in particular, not just a dazed look but rather a look of fear and embarrassment-being on the verge of tears.  I knew what she was feeling, because I had felt that way too many times over my high school years! 

At the time I wasn't thinking about compassion and mercy or doing the right thing.  I was mad!  Mad at those punk little Freshman boys for treating these girls this way!  Just exactly who did they think they were?  They were not big boys on campus, they hadn't earned that right yet!  No, they were thoughtless juvenile little boys who needed to be knocked down a notch!  These were my girls and no punk Freshman was going to get away with treating them like that!  I wasn't the only one at my table who had this thought, my friends noticed as well!  The decision was unanimous, the girls would come sit with us at the Senior table.  I'm not sure which one of us called to them and invited them over but from that point on, they had a table to sit at for lunch every day!  And certain Freshman boys stopped using them for their sporting targets!  We made our point-they were under our protection and we would not tolerate anyone messing with them. 

Like I said, after high school I had forgotten all about that terrible moment.  It wasn't until years later that I realized just how important that decision was on that day.  My mother went to have her hair done by a new hair stylist who she hadn't been to before.  When she came home with her beautiful new look she started to tell me about the conversation she had with the young lady who had done her hair.  Turned out that the young lady was Karen and she told my mother the story of that day in the lunchroom.  She remembered me specifically!   And she remembered the horrible feeling of standing in the middle of the lunch room not knowing what to do and suddenly the relief of being invited to sit at the Senior table.  I may have forgotten but she never did!  Sometimes you'll never know the impact that you'll have on another person's life but understand this, little things do count and little things do matter even more than you can possibly imagine!

So today I pray for all students starting school and I pray for the teachers as well.  High school in particular can be such an awkward time and there is enough misery in the process of "becoming" without someone adding to it!  I hope that if my son sees a situation where someone is being made fun of or bullied that he will have the courage to intervene.  I hope that every child will choose to do the right thing! 

And Seniors, have a little fun along the way! 

Blessings upon blessings to you all today!

All my love,

Mom

The Healing Balm of Harvey Lake-Going with the Flow

Disconnect- (verb) to cause to be no longer connected, (adjective) disjoined, not connected

A perfect description of how I have felt over the last few months!  Life had become merely a matter of going through the motions hoping for that time when I could be rejoined or reconnected.  There was so much to deal with and so little time to catch my breath!  By the time I got to Vermont I was literally physically and emotionally exhausted.  Spiritually I had been holding my own but even that was beginning to wear thin!  I desperately needed a chance to recharge and reconnect!

Nature is one of those things that has always been able to soothe me when I'm going through rough times.  Vermont has plenty of variety in that category!  One of the hardest parts about living in Missouri in the summer time is that it gets so hot and humid that you have no choice but to close up the house and turn on the air conditioning.  No bird song, no hearing the leaves rustle as the wind blows, no sound of frogs singing at night.  Just the quiet hum of the electric fan pumping cool humid free air through the house.  It's tough to walk outside other than to walk to your air conditioned car or from your air conditioned car to your house.  Even gardening becomes an elemental task of endurance, rather than the pleasure it had always been for me!  And swimming?  There are not many lakes here.  There are rivers but you really can't swim in the Missouri or Mississippi and quite frankly, I'm not so sure I'd want to! 

These were not problems I faced at Harvey Lake!  The air was light and sweet filled with the smell of pine.  The windows of the cabin were open day and night.  The water ran crystal clear and cold and there was the steady gentle lap of waves as they hit along the shore.  No cell phone, no satellite television, no major chain store nearby.  I did have a dock that I could go swimming, fishing or boating from.  I had a fire pit in the front yard to roast hotdogs and marshmallows.  I had a porch to sit on and watch the action on the lake and enjoy the incredible mountain view.  And there were card and board games to play on the rainy nights. 

Harvey Lake is located on the eastern side of Vermont in a little town called West Barnet.  The area reminds me of the Vermont of my childhood-uncluttered, unpretentious and perfectly comfortable.  I discovered from talking with our camp neighbors that I was fortunate to be able to rent the cabin.  Apparently the owners, John and Julia, do not normally rent out their cabin.   It is truly a small gem set in a perfect location!  I can honestly say, there but by the Grace of God go I.  The cabin and the lake were truly a refuge for a battered and weary soul!

Lonnie came with us as well.  He had never been east so I had the chance to show him around a bit.  He got a chance to hike up Hunger Mountain and we all experienced the joy of walking around St. Johnsbury.  We ate the most fantastic meal at the local diner and my family got to experience the wonder of shopping at a small locally owned independent bookstore.  Funny story in all of this-St. Johnsbury still has parking meters and my husband and Lonnie were giddy with excitement because they got to park by a meter and feed quarters in to it!  They thought that was just the coolest thing ever!  My favorite part was stopping by a farm in Walden where I was able to purchase fresh blueberries!  I also finally replaced my 10 year old purse with a new beautiful fabric purse handcrafted in Vermont!  One of the things it made me realize was just how much I miss really fresh food which has spurred me on to get in a fall garden as soon as possible!  The produce was lusciously divine, I kid you not!  I love roadside farm stands!

Then of course, there was the reason for the trip-dad's funeral.  It was truly a wonderful memorial to the life of my father who not only made a difference in my life but in the lives of so many around our family.  I had the opportunity to reconnect with cousins and neighbors and dear childhood friends!  There were hugs and tears but also laughter and story swapping and catching up, it truly was a celebration!  Dad would have thoroughly enjoyed the get together!

Leaving was hard.  I made sure I cleaned the cabin thoroughly because I wanted to be certain that I left it in as pristine condition as I found it.  Then there was the stop by the folk's house to say good-bye to my family.  I didn't cry until we crossed the border from Vermont to New York.  Another chapter of life closed behind me, another chapter was ahead of me.  Life continues to flow on whether we are ready for it or not!  I wasn't so sure I was ready!

I was reminded of the importance of the flow when reading Ezekiel this morning.  In chapter 47 it says:

"Wherever the river flows, life will flourish...Where the river flows life abounds."

I needed to reconnect with the flow and to experience life again.  The sounds, the smells, the tastes.  The noise, the peace, the tears and the joy.  I stepped in to the moving water at Harvey Lake.  I immersed myself in the beauty and nature of Vermont.  I wrapped myself in the arms of loving family and friends.  I went with the flow and the healing balm washed over me.  Life will flourish, life will abound.  You just have to go with the flow and sometimes when you are so overwhelmed that can be a very hard choice indeed!

May you find your very own Harvey Lake.  May you recharge, reconnect and go with the flow.  There is a life of abundance waiting, just for you!  And great big luscious blueberries too!

Deep Spirited Friends

So I was reading Philippians this morning and a phrase caught my eye: "be deep-spirited friends".  It was a phrase that really resonated with me because I have friends that I would call "deep-spirited".  It's not a philosophical meaning, rather it's a practical meaning.  They are the kinds of friends that no matter what happens, they stick by you!  When things are good they are cheering and when things are bad they cry with you.  As the Message paraphrase puts it at the beginning of chapter 2-"put yourself aside, and help others get ahead.  Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage.  Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand."

I have friends that I have known for as long as I can remember!  My first memories are playing with them or going to Sunday School with them or starting Kindergarten together.  As far back as I can remember, they are a part of my memory, just like my family.  The great joy of the Internet is that I can renew some of those friendships and keep up with what is going on in their lives on a daily basis!  They know me warts and all and still call me friend even after all these years!  They cheer me on, encourage me and set me straight when I need a reality check!  They are, to me, deep-spirited friends!

I have friends here as well, half way across the country who I would call deep-spirited friends.  They haven't known me as long but they still know me, warts and all and call me friend!  Their gift of friendship to me is equally as special because, now that I am older, I understand that I can pick and choose my friends.  In turn other adults can pick and choose their friends as well and they still choose to be my friend! 

My friends are such a gift to me!  I can say with all honesty that I would do anything for them if it was within my power.  Even if it wasn't within my power I'd still try to help!  And I believe that they would do the same for me.  I think that's what Paul meant-true friendship is a relationship that goes beyond the surface and right down to your very core.  Or, as Anne of Green Gables would say these friends are "kindred spirits."  They may be far away but I know that they have been and always will be my friends!

Having said that, I think we all search for relationships like this and we suffer a great emptiness when they don't exist in our lives.  I think that's why Wesley in the early days of Methodism stressed the importance of the "societies".  They were designed to give an individual a chance to meet with others, study, pray, encourage and hold each other accountable.  With the mobility of our society it becomes harder to develop those sorts of deep relationships but I think they are even more critical now than ever before!  We need friend anchors to help us not feel so alone.  We need those friends to encourage us when we're down and set us straight when we've gone off the deep end!  We need deep-spirited friends!

As the old song says "make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold".  If you have lost touch with an old friend maybe today is the day to try to reconnect.  If you are new in town, maybe today is the day to find a place where you can make some new friends.  And if you have lived in town forever and know someone has just moved in, take the time to reach out to them!  We all need to connect in more than just a superficial way.  Take the time to cultivate those deep-spirited friendships.  You'll be glad that you did!

And to my darling friends old and new-thank you for putting up with me!