Crispy Fried Goodness and that Proverbs 31 Chick

Today's daily Bible reading-Proverbs 31-the one that describes the perfect, virtuous woman and all that she does.  I'm depressed, cause by those standards I would fall under the category of epic fail!

It's not for lack of trying!  I don't know if it is because the weather has been so awful the last couple of days, or the fact that I have been pushing really hard to get things done (which I know better but tend to ignore).  Either way, I am crispy fried yet again and have worked myself into yet another fibro flare.  sigh....

So here I am with plenty of things to do and no energy to do them.  It's all about balance and I've gotten out of whack again as my body has so physically reminded me!  I feel like I've been hit all over with a sledge hammer!  The cure is to rest but as a mother, that's not always an option as my mind runs through its mental checklist of items.  It's a very long list!

I want to do it all-to be super wife and super mom and super church member, doing good things for everyone.  But I have to remember that God did not ask us to do it all or to do more than we are equipped to do!  He doesn't want or expect crispy fried goodness!  All he expects is that we use our gifts and graces to run the race that he has set before us-at his pace!  My guess is that the Proverbs 31 woman of virtue understood the need for balance and pace.  She didn't try to do everything at once.  She tackled life one thing at a time and she rested when necessary.

Logically I understand this, but it doesn't make me feel any less guilty.  There are people depending on me and when my health gets in the way, it is very very frustrating!  I prefer to be moving and doing not sitting and resting!

Today though, that is pretty much what I will have to do-sit and rest.  The sun has come out and it is shining on a gorgeous fall landscape.  There's a chill in the air but not oppressive.  It's a beautiful day that my Lord has made-now I have time to rejoice and be glad in it!

The Message Paraphrase has this to say in Proverbs 31:

"She always faces tomorrow with a smile."

As for me-I intend to face today with a smile.  I may be exhausted and in pain but I'm alive and surrounded by wonderful family and friends!  I have the goofiest 3 legged dog who makes me laugh.  I have beautiful scenery to look at all around me! I have friends to pray for and songs to sing.  I have the sun shining on me and birds chirping merrily along with the songs of the wind.  I have much to be thankful for today!  I'll take the time to rest and enjoy all of my blessings.  And tomorrow, I'm sure, will be a much better day!  Pace the race, Miss Trudy, pace the race!

Forgiveness-It's a Living Thing

King David-remember him?  He is described as a "man after God's own heart", the giant slayer, the great leader of Israel.  King David the ultimate perfect God follower.  If you read in the Old Testament though, you realize that he was just as flawed as the rest of us.  Maybe that's why he is included in so much of the Old Testament, as a reminder to the rest of us that God can use even flawed individuals to do great things!

So it was with great interest that I read Psalm 109 in The Message paraphrase which is noted as "A David Prayer".  It starts off in the positive:

"My God don't turn a deaf ear to my hallelujah prayer..."

It goes down hill from there.  Basically he is praying for God to obliterate an enemy.  Here's just a part of the Psalm:

"Give him a short life and give his job to somebody else.  Make orphans of his children, dress his wife in widow's weeds; Turn his children into begging street urchins, evicted from their homes-homeless.  May the bank foreclose and wipe him out, and strangers, like vultures, pick him clean.  May there be no one around to help him out, no one willing to give his orphans a break.  Chop down his family tree so that nobody even remembers his name." 

It goes on, but you get the gist.  This was not a lovey-dovey, warm and fuzzy prayer.  This was the prayer of a man at the end of his rope wishing that the person who persecuted him was wiped out!

Let's be honest, we have all had similar thoughts and prayers at some point in our lives.  Our prayers though, are not documented like David's prayers!  We have been wronged and yet, the other person just keeps on keeping on.  Why why why do they not get their come uppance?  Where is the delivery for us, the justice we seek?  Seriously, haven't we endured enough?  Good Christians are not supposed to think that way, yet we all have those moments.

There have been times in my own life when I have endured some things I would not wish upon anyone else!  There have been times when I wondered why a house didn't fall out of the sky (a la Wizard of Oz) or why someone didn't get struck by lightening because they oh so deserved that fate!  Forgiveness was not exactly high on my list.  I had done nothing wrong yet I was the one who was suffering.  They needed to ask ME for forgiveness, not the other way around!  THEY were the ones who needed to be stopped.  THEY were the ones who needed to pay.

Yet, Jesus told us to forgive.  Not just once but "seven times seventy", or in other words, forgive without end. "But God," we argue, "they surely don't deserve it and they definitely haven't earned it!"  But that's not the point.  Forgiveness is not about letting someone off the hook.  No, it's far more personal.  Forgiveness allows you to be free from carrying the burden.  Anger unchecked, festers and it turns into bitterness and bitterness will eat you from the inside out.  To become totally and utterly absorbed by bitterness is an ugly thing.  It clouds your perception and taints everything in your life.  How you live, your relationships with others, your work become driven by your need for revenge.  It not only effects you spiritually, but it can effect you physically.  The longer you carry the burden the heavier it gets and the more exhausted you become!  No wonder Jesus was so clear about the need to forgive!  Forgiveness isn't just a "thing", it's a living thing!  If you want to live, really live, then you have to make a choice to let things go.  YOU have to choose to forgive!

If I sound like I speak from the voice of experience, you're right.  I've lived out both scenarios.  One time, when I was younger and I couldn't let go of what had been done to me, I made myself so miserable that I got to the point that I didn't want to live.  I attempted suicide.  Not as a way to "get even", no, I just wanted the pain to end!  I wasn't sleeping, I certainly wasn't eating right and my only thought was revenge.  I was consumed with settling the score.  There was no room for forgiveness in my heart.  A wise friend talked with me about it and I described how I felt and I clearly said "I am the victim, I can't forgive, I don't have the strength to forgive!"  My wise friend said, "you don't have the strength but God does, give it to him!"  So I said a prayer, "not by my strength but by the Lord's strength I forgive."  And it wasn't easy!  I had to say that prayer over and over and over again!  After a time though, it got easier.  I had to say it less often.  It got to the point where my first thought in the morning was not about revenge on my assailant.  It got to the point when it wasn't the last thought at night.  Eventually I got to a point where I stopped thinking about it completely.  I went from victim to victor.  I learned to forgive and in the process I got my life back!

Fast forward to a few years ago when I was attacked and accused unfairly.  It was just as painful, I was just as angry.  The difference though was I refused to let the bitterness consume me!  It wasn't easy, but I had learned my lesson.  I didn't want to go back to the way I had been when I was younger!  So I said the prayer again and I kept going and kept living.  Lo and behold, there came an opportunity to get my revenge.  I could have filed charges and had this individual thrown into jail and had a lien put on all of his posessions.  He would have lost everything.  I had individuals telling me that I should go ahead because he had certainly earned it for the hell he had put me (and my family) through and he surely deserved it so why not settle the score?  I didn't do it.  In the whole scheme of things, my act of forgiveness was more important to me than the satisfaction I might gain from seeking revenge.  I had moved on and I wasn't going back!  I chose to forgive and then live and that mattered more to me!

In this life people will hurt you through no fault of your own.  Yes, you have been wronged.  You have a right to be angry about what you have lost.  But you also have a choice.  You can choose to nurse that anger or you can choose to forgive.  When you choose to stop carrying the burden you choose to live.  Instead of focusing your energy on what you have lost and the person responsible for that loss you are instead free to focus on moving ahead!  What you choose to focus on dictates how you live.  And living is a whole lot easier when you let go of that burden and choose to forgive!  Another word for forgiveness is grace.  Grace is the essence of living because it opens up new and wonderful opportunites.  It truly is a living thing!

So the lesson of David's Psalm is this-we may feel the exact same way as he did, and justifiably so!  We may even have times when we pray a prayer just like his prayer.  But we have a choice.  We can wrap that anger around us like a comfortable blanket until it encloses us in bitterness or we can let it go and choose to forgive. Our choice will effect how we live.  Choose to forgive if you truly want to live!

Moments of Jubilee Amidst Anarchy?

So I have had an interesting convergence of daily Bible readings over the last 24 hours.  Yesterday's reading came out of Second Thessalonians, and today's reading was the last few chapters in Leviticus. 

Let's start with Leviticus because God was giving instructions to Moses about an amazing national celebration that involved rest and restoration-the Jubilee year.  The basic formula is based on the number 7.  God instructed that for six years crops would be planted and harvested but the seventh year of the cycle the land was allowed a rest.  No planting, no harvesting but you could live off of what the land produced on it's own for that seventh year.  There would be seven cycles of 7 adding up to 49 years.  Then the trumpet would be blown and the 50th year would be declared a holy year-a year of Jubilee.  It was a year where individuals would reunite with their families, where property that was sold would return to the original owners, debts forgiven and celebration would occur.  Jubilee-a year to celebrate God's abundant blessings.

There are ministers who like to preach on Jubilee who tell you to expect your time of Jubilee. That time when all goes right in the world and your ship comes in and all is well!  Well meaning, good hearted people do just that-they sow their seed and wait for a harvest.  Meanwhile all hell is breaking loose around them and they wonder what's going on and why their year of Jubilee has not come?  Where is their promised deliverance?  Are they not worthy enough?  Are they not faithful enough?  Did they do something wrong?  Did they miss the Jubilee boat?

Reading Second Thessalonians gives a slightly different picture.  This is most definitely a letter of encouragement from Paul!  In The Message paraphrase Paul says this:

"...you're so steady and determined in your faith despite (emphasis mine) all the hard times that have come down on you."

Paul then goes on to address the spirit of anarchy.  Other translations refer to this as the spirit of the anti-christ but I like the word picture that you get from using the word anarchy because it brings to mind chaos and disorder and it reminds me of what C.S. Lewis talked about in "The Screw-Tape Letters".  Here's what Paul had to say:

"That doesn't mean that the spirit or anarchy is not now at work.  It is, secretly and underground."

There's an important lesson here for today.  If you look at the headlines, even over the weekend, with the deaths of 31 service members in Afghanistan and the downgrading of the United States credit rating it does give one cause to pause.  Just when you thought things might be getting better why does it seem like they are getting worse?  If ever there was a time or need to call for national prayer, this is it, in my opinion!

What is the goal of anarchy?  Chaos, confusion, dissent, fear, loss of faith and hope and a host of other negative things.  Yes, these are things that are alive and well and flourishing in our world right now.  Yet, when you look at Paul's letter we know that the church was experiencing persecution.  They were living with anarchy yet they were able to hold steady.  That's the lesson in all of this-the ability to find your Jubilee within the chaos.  The ability to stay "steady and determined" despite the hardship.  That is the key!

I mourn with the families who lost a loved one.  I pray for them. Being the parent of a child in the service this one hits close to home because I know the possibility exists that I could get one of those phone call!  I mourn for the individual who lost their job because of downsizing and I pray that the next opportunity will be even bigger and better than what they had before.  I mourn for those who have lost their home because they couldn't make the mortgage payment.  In the midst of all of this though, I still believe that God is still large and in charge!  I mourn, I pray, I strive to keep my eye on the ball.  I pray for Jubilee. 

I see moments of Jubilee around me every day.  Right now, two of my friends are on their way to Joplin to do what they can to help out with clean up and to bring some much needed supplies.  Every step towards returning to a normal life is a cause for celebration!  They may have lost everything they owned but hope is strong and they are determined to re-build.  The veteran who chooses to endure grueling physical therapy to walk again is a cause for celebration.  They may have lost a limb but they are determined to stand tall and to move forward.  There are many other examples but the point is, Jubilee exists all around us if we just open our eyes and look! 

Bad things happening have nothing to do with a lack of faith or that someone did something wrong or didn't do enough.  Bad things happen because bad things happen.  The spirit of anarchy exists and is an equal opportunity opportunist!  You can respond the way that it would like you to respond-in fear and sadness and loss of hope or you can choose to stay steady and determined.  Even a little faith mixed with hope goes a long way!

To wrap this up, I'm going to quote The Message paraphrase because I think this is a good prayer for us all.  All of this comes from Second Thessalonians and it's powerful stuff if you can get a hold of it.

"May Jesus himself and God Our Father, who reached out in love and surprised you with gifts of unending help and confidence, put a fresh heart in you, invigorate your work, enliven your speech.  (I)..pray that he'll fill your good ideas and acts of faith with his own energy so that it all amounts to something.  Grace is behind and through all of this, our God giving himself freely, the Master, Jesus Christ, giving himself freely."

I pray that you embrace the gift of faith and hope and courage and that you walk forth steady and determined.  I pray that you find your moments of Jubilee even in the midst of anarchy.  May God give you eyes to see what is right there in front of you!  Amen and Amen!

Is the Glass Half Full or Half Empty?

Today's Bible Study Reading coupled with the Disciple Bible Study reading for today made me go "eww!!!"  My thought was "seriously God, this is what you want me to talk about today???"  As you can tell, since I am writing about it, the answer was yes.  There is a good reason!

Right now I am reading through Second Kings and I've gotten to the section where the chapters get short because they tell the stories of one failed king after another.  It tells how the king came to power (usually by assassination) and it consistently uses phrases like:
 Or you read this:

"In God's eyes he lived an evil life...he didn't deviate from the sins of Jeroboam...he plodded along in the same tracks, step after step." 

"He lived the way God wanted and did the right thing.  But he didn't come up to the standards of his ancestor David..."

Then there is this week's reading in my Disciple Bible Study which focuses on the Book of Job.  Here's a man who we know, right from the start, is blameless in God's eyes yet he loses everything!  So then his friends show up to offer "comfort" all the while spouting off that it's obvious that he did something wrong and he should just fess up!  With friends like this, who needs enemies?

Yeah, not exactly light, heady, uplifting reading!  But there are a couple of modern day parallels in all of this.  Start with Kings.  Substitute "government official" for king and you get a picture of a person in leadership who hasn't deviated from the patterns of the past and continues to plod along.  I won't be the judge of whether or not that is a sin, because that's beside the point.  The point is, the average American thinks that our leadership is doing nothing to address the current problems our country faces. 

Then, there is Job.  He had it all by worldly standards and yet he lost it all through no fault of his own.  There are a lot of people in this country in similar situations.  They worked hard, they did the right things, they are good people, yet they lost their job, their homes and their savings.  My guess is they have a few friends who probably sit there beside them and say "well, there must have been something that you did wrong to cause this to happen?!"  Again, with friends like this who needs enemies?

Where's the uplifting part in all of this?  It has to do with how we respond.  In the question and answer part of Disciple Bible Study is this statement:

"The Christian Disciple knows that suffering causes a person to choose bitterness or creativity."   

Now add this from 2 Corinthians 5:

"Cheerfully, pleasing God is the main thing, and that's what we can aim to do, regardless of our conditions."

Ah ha!  Is the glass half full or half empty?  How do I respond to what is going on around me?  Am I able to respond with hope, faith and love or do I respond with anger, frustration and bitterness? And as a Christian, regardless of my circumstances, can I still find a way to serve?  Can I cheerfully please God regardless of my condition?  

I'll be honest, my initial response when something goes wrong tends to fall on the half empty side.  (Told ya I wasn't perfect!)  After I calm down a bit, I can start seeing the half full side but it takes some time!  My husband on the other hand is the eternal optimist!  It takes an awful lot for him to flip to the half empty side!  That's why he is so good for me because he makes me look for the blessings in disguise and try to find the silver lining! 

I do think there is a lesson here for each of us personally.  Initially, anger and frustration can spur you on to make changes.  But anger long lived, leads to bitterness and bitterness shuts down creativity.  If you can't get beyond focusing on what you have lost, it's tough to look at what you have left and figure out a way to use it differently and creatively!  You plod along in the same ole way, do the same ole thing and as a result nothing changes!

Ya know, I know a lot of very smart people who got some very cool degrees in very specific fields who have never worked a day in their life in that chosen field!  Yet, they have been very successful doing other things!  Each and every one of us has untapped potential.  So maybe you didn't train in a certain field, so what?!  Are you passionate about it?  Do you have gifts and abilities that would allow you to do the job?  Then why sell yourself short?  Why not take those God given talents and find a new way to use them? 

This also applies to serving others as well!  Do you see a need in your church or community?  Sort of a big gaping hole that seems so obvious to you but yet, nothing is being done about it?  Why not take that passion and energy and creativity and come up with a plan!  Or maybe, there is a need, there is a program but you are not involved yet.  You may be exactly the person they need!  You may not feel that you have a lot to offer but take the leap anyway!  You might find that volunteering is the toughest job you'll ever love and in the process you may find a gift that you have always had but never noticed! 

Trouble comes.  Bad things happen to good people.  How you respond can make all of the difference.  It's normal to be angry and frustrated to begin with but the key is to choose the path of creativity over the path of bitterness.  Is the glass half full or half empty?  My darling friends, if you are on the half empty side I pray that today is the day that you choose to look at the half full side!  I pray that today you focus on what you have rather than what you have lost.  I pray that you choose to serve regardless of your circumstances.  I pray that you choose to tap in to your God given creativity!  Today is your day!  Rejoice and be glad!