Song of Spring

A quick note-I wrote this piece about a month ago and didn't publish at the time.  Health issues and life in general still keep me hopping, but I am hanging tough and will persevere!  I hope you enjoy reading this piece!~ Trudy

Hello, darling readers!  I know, it has been awhile since I have ventured this way!  My only explanation is a few minor health issues, lack of inspiration and need to enjoy the unseasonably warm weather that has ventured over Missouri during the last month!  Today is different, it is the first day in over a month that we will have closer to a “normal average high” temperature.  It also rained quite heavily last night, so rushing to be outside in the mud is not on the agenda!

It’s been a strange spring!  Plants have bloomed much earlier than usual.  Trees are almost fully out in leaf.  My beautiful Lilac bush has just about gone by on the blooming stage.  Normally, it blooms closer to the end of April.  My husband actually did some mowing yesterday evening as well!  Gardeners, such as myself, have been in a rush to get things in the ground.  I did put some early spring plants in the vegetable garden, such as peas, lettuce, broccoli, carrots and radishes.  I took a pass on warmer weather plants, such as tomatoes, because I know that spring weather can be unpredictable.  The risk I take with the early spring crops is that they could bolt to seed if the weather stays unseasonably warm.  But, this is Missouri, and we still face a frost risk, for at least another month.  The cool weather crops can handle a hit of frost.  Tomatoes on the other hand, can not!  Like I said, it has been an unusually warm spring and the plants are doing their thing about a month or so ahead of schedule!

So, I have been outside quite a bit!  We turned off the heat and opened up the windows and let the fresh air in to the house!  I was so upset the other day because it actually got hot and humid enough that we had to close the house back up again and turn on the central air!  I like the fresh air.  I like feeling the breeze blow in through the open windows.  I love hearing the birds sing.  It’s a way for me to still feel connected to the outdoors even when I am doing the things inside that need to be done.  Closing up the house makes me feel disconnected and isolated.  One of the hardest adjustments for me since moving to Missouri has been dealing with air conditioning in the summer time.  In Vermont, summer is a time to be connected with the outdoors!  You open the windows in June, day and night, and they stay open until the end of August!  And if the house gets a little too stuffy, you go outside and sit in the shade, or go swimming at the brook.  That’s a tough thing to do here in Missouri when the temps hit 102 with 100 percent humidity!  Spring has now become my most favorite season here in Missouri, because it is more like the summers that I was used to back home in Vermont!

Being outdoors, especially in the garden, is a form of meditation for me personally.  There is something very satisfying in the experience of planting and weeding and hoping for the future!  If the tiny little seeds germinate, if the small plants survive and thrive, there is a hope for eating something fresh and wonderful from the ground that you have toiled to work!  It requires attention.  Weeds must be pulled.  Beneficial insects encouraged to pollinate.  Pests that would destroy your efforts, swiftly dealt with.  You don’t just simply throw things on the ground and hope that when you come back later, something will have stuck!  In order to be successful, you must engage in the process!

There’s a metaphor for life!  Engage in the process!  Pay attention to the details!  Prior to the economic crash, there were individuals who were warning that the pestilent swarm of collapse was coming.  Yet, we chose to ignore the sirens and hope for the best.  We threw our seeds on the ground and walked away and hoped that nature would take care of itself.  We called it “market forces” and opted to believe that they would keep the weeds in check and that the locusts would stay at bay.  We have paid a price for that philosophy and hopefully learned a valuable lesson as a country.

We can carry that lesson into our personal lives as well.  I think so many of us struggle because we have literally thrown our creative seed out in the proverbial wind and then wonder why things haven’t turned out the way we hoped they would!  We have hopes and dreams but they seem too big, too impossible to accomplish!  It seems like something is always coming up that either robs us of our energy to carry on, like a weed, or chews away at our confidence, like a locust!  We get tossed to and fro and our dreams shrivel up inside, never to see the light of day because the outcome is too much to hope for!  But let me ask you this-is God a big God?  Do you think God would give you hopes and dreams if HE didn’t already have a way for them to be accomplished?

The first thing to ask yourself is what do you think God wants you to accomplish?  Your first thought might be, I dunno!  But you do!  Think about the things you would like to accomplish.  When you do that, I have found that usually, these can be the seeds of the vision that God has planted inside of you.  It may not always be the case, (sometimes our ego can get in the way) but many times, when you take a good, hard critical look, you can find the seeds of a long term vision.  What do you hope to change?  In other words, what is the outcome that you would like to see?  Some would call it a goal.  I prefer to think of it as God’s vision for my life (once I have taken the time to get my ego out of the way)!  From there, we step back.  What will it take to get there?  This is a great way to come up with individual things that must be done along the way and it helps you identify what needs to be done first!  It forces you to pay attention to the details!  It also provides a way to become engaged in the process.  It becomes a way to engage with God in a very personal way!

This is not a new way of doing things, contrary to what popular culture would have you think!  God has longed to engage in a personal way since time immortal!  Think about it-why send Jesus to suffer on the cross if God was not a God of personal engagement?  Look at anything big that was done in the Bible, such as building the ark or the temple.  When you read about the undertaking, you always find very detailed descriptions of just exactly how the “goal” was accomplished.  First, came the vision.  Then came the details!  Even Jesus was very specific with the Disciples.  Jesus would go on  ahead of them as the Savior.  The Disciples would then share the Good News with all who would listen!  It wouldn’t be easy!  The High Council would dog every step.  Individuals would not receive them.  Sometimes even their own followers would cause them to have to settle disputes.  But their job, their goal would be to share the message and spread the word of God’s love and saving grace, one person, one town at a time!  If they tended the seeds that they planted, eventually the faith would grow and bloom and the bounty would spread!  But it would not happen if they did not take the time to engage in the process and pay attention to the details.  Details matter if you truly want to see the vision through!

Do you feel like you are floundering about, doing a whole lot of things and getting nowhere?  Stuck in the mire of everyday life?  Take some time away by yourself to meditate and listen for God‘s vision.  Your “meditation” may be being out in the garden, or maybe it is turning wrenches on your car project or perhaps it is just sitting quietly at the kitchen table.  Do what helps you think best and ask yourself, what is God’s vision for me?  Perhaps it is becoming a teacher or volunteering to help out a worthy cause or becoming the very best in your field of endeavor so that you can help others.  Whatever it is, get a clear vision of that “end-goal”.  Then take the time to look at the steps necessary to get you to that place.  Don’t be surprised if it takes a little while to come up with a plan because great things take careful consideration!  God is a big God who will show you the way!  Get yourself  spiritually in a position to take that first step!  Once the first step becomes clear, engage!

Psalm 40, verses 1-3 sums it up nicely:

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry.  He drew me up from the desolate pit, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.  He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord.”

May the God of all creation bless you fully, so you may be a blessing to others!  Amen and Amen!  On your way because your journey begins…today!

Through the Gate to the Broad Place

The notes for Psalm 20 in the Wesley Study Bible say that this is an intercession for the king.  It says that  the people are asking for God’s protection for their king, because their safety is contingent upon his safety.  I’m glad that I read the Psalm before I read the notes because, I had a very different take on this, particularly on verses 4 and 5:

“May he grant you your heart’s desire, and fulfill all your plans.  May we shout for joy over your victory, and in the name of our God set up our banners.  May the Lord fulfill all your petitions.”

What I heard in my head and heart was a blessing.  This is the type of prayer that I would pray for a loved one or a friend, particularly if they were struggling with some issue.  Not only do I want my friend to overcome obstacles but, I want to celebrate with them, when they achieve their goal!  This is the kind of prayer that I hope someone would pray over me!

There was another verse that caught my attention, as well, that I think goes nicely with this blessing.  Psalm 18, verse 19:

“He brought me out into a broad place; he delivered me, because he delighted in me.”

The notes on this verse say that a broad place is far from enemies that would otherwise be pressing in on an individual.  Again, I understand what they are saying,  but I saw something very different!  In my minds eye, I saw a wide, open, space, full of opportunity.  I saw potential!

Here’s my convoluted thought process.  It’s a winding path but stay with me! It will make sense, once we wind through the maze!   Jesus said the gate is narrow.  We have to choose to walk through the gate.  But what happens when you walk through that gate?  Things usually open up into a much wider, broader space!  Why does God give you gifts and graces?  Why does God give you ideas and plans?  Why do the right people show up, at the right time, in the right place?  Here’s the part that we tend to skim over; the reason is, because God delights in you!

If you have prayed to God to use your gifts and graces, for His honor and glory, if you have asked Him what His plan is for your life, then you have started towards that narrow gate.  What a delight!  Someone who actually stopped talking, and stopped long enough to ask what His plan is, rather than, putting forth what you think the plan should be!  Once you walk through that gate, the Holy Spirit puts His arm around your shoulder and says “look around you.”  You look and think “wow, this is way more than I imagined!”  His plan, is your plan, and he will fulfill your heart’s desire!  Your friends and family will celebrate with you because, God has delighted in you!  It is a powerful, profound image!  An incredible vision, if we could just believe in it!  Ah, there’s the catch, the thing that keeps you from walking through that gate!  It’s hard to believe, especially if we feel that we are not “delightful!”

Leslie Weatherhead, in his book, “A Private House of Prayer” said something that was stunning in it’s simplicity, and really gets to the heart of the matter.  In the meditation for day 4, he talks about the story from Mark, chapter 2, where the four men, literally, haul their sick friend up to the roof, and remove the tiles, so they can lower him down to Jesus, because they truly believe Jesus can heal him.  Jesus does not say to the man, “you are healed.”  What does he say?  “Son, your sins are forgiven.”  Rev. Weatherhead says this:

“How many disabilities of ours would disappear if we could really feel completely forgiven, utterly free from guilt?” 

 He comes back to this point, during the confession for day 15, when he says this:

“God does not ask us to live in a state of continual remorse about our past sins, but to outgrow them and become spiritually adult.”  

God forgives, but do you forgive yourself?  Why are you unable to believe that God delights in you?  Because you can’t let go of the guilt.  It is tough to believe in the forgiveness of God when you can’t forgive yourself!  The train of thought in your head is “how can I ask for blessings when I’m not worthy?”

God’s forgiveness is not dependent on us, or how worthy we think we are!  God forgives because God is God!  He is merciful, and loving; and He doesn’t worry about the past, when someone has truly repented and asked for forgiveness.  If He wanted us to wallow in guilt over past sins, then, why would He send Jesus?  Jesus came because God so loved the world!  Jesus came so that we could experience forgiveness!  When we choose to believe Jesus is Savior, and ask for forgiveness, God forgets those sins!  He focuses on the present, and the future, and what wonderful things are waiting for you, if, you would just believe and ask!  This is why Paul, in Philippians 3, talks about “forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead” and he talks about pressing towards the goal of the “heavenly call” of God.  If past guilt keeps holding you prisoner, how can you move forward?  Didn’t Jesus come to set each of us free?

God has a “heavenly call” for each of us; a delightful plan that He wants to share.  But, you’re not going to enter that narrow way, if, you keep hauling all the guilt baggage around with you!    Let it go!  God has forgiven you, learn to forgive yourself!  

As you let go of all that baggage, and walk through that narrow gate, I pray with the Psalmist that  God will grant your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans.  I believe that he will deliver you to that broad place because God is Good.  He loves you, He forgives you and He delights in you!  May you shout with joy when your victory comes, because God loves YOU, and delights, in YOU!

Yabut!

Yabut-my made up word of combining  yeah and but.  Most commonly used or whispered to sow discontent or uncertainty in the minds of the hearer.  Favorite tool used by “the accuser” “the deceiver” “the Satan”.

In the book of Job, “the Satan” makes an appearance again.  In chapter 1 there is a gathering of the heavenly beings who “present themselves before the Lord”  (Job1:6) and Satan shows up as well.  Then comes the interesting exchange between God and Satan starting at verse 7:

“The Lord said to Satan, ‘where have you come from?’ Satan answered the Lord, ‘from going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it.”

Let’s be clear, God already knew what Satan had been up to.  He already knew he had been wandering around looking at what sorts of problems he could cause on earth.  Asking the question allows us to become aware of what Satan is up to because Satan has to answer, even if the answer is purposely vague.  He’s giving the impression that he has just been taking a hike, walking around but his nature is to sow discontent.  Satan was truthful in his answer as far as he went with the answer.  But as my Gramma used to say, “a half truth is not truth!”

Then God takes a different tact.  He brings up Job, a man that God describes as blameless and upright who fears the Lord and turns away from evil.  Satan responds with a yabut starting at verse 9:

“Does Job fear God for nothing?  Have you not put a fence around him and his house and all that he has, on every side?  You have blessed the work of his hand, and his possessions have increased in the land.  But stretch out your hand now, and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face.”

What is he saying here?  Like a whiney child, he is saying “yabut, that’s only because you have given him all this stuff and you protect him, but if you let me at him and let me take his stuff, I know your precious little human will turn on you and curse you to your face!”

How does God respond?  He agrees to the challenge but tells Satan that he can’t hurt Job.  So Satan orchestrates and manipulates the attacks on Job’s “stuff”,  livestock stolen, servants killed, children killed and he makes sure that he leaves one survivor from each event that can run and tell Job about what happened.  Satan fails though, because Job does not curse God.  He’s upset, he’s distraught but he doesn’t curse God.

So, in chapter 2, we get to listen in on the conversation between God and Satan, again.  God basically says “told ya!  You took all of his stuff but he still did not curse me.”  And Satan responds with his second yabut in Job 2, verse 4:

“Skin for skin!  All that people have they will give to save their lives.  But stretch out your hand now and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse you to your face.”

Once again, God agrees to the challenge with one condition.  Satan is not allowed to kill Job.  We’re told that Satan inflicts “loathsome sores” on Job from his feet to his head.  Still, he doesn’t curse God.  When that doesn’t work, guess who shows up on the scene?  Jobs “friends”.  And we learn later on in the book that with friends like these, who needs enemies?  Satan couldn’t take him out directly so he goes the covert route by sending the “concerned friends” to come sit with Job.

The yabut pattern is nothing new for Satan.  We know that he used it in the Garden of Eden when talking with Eve.  If you go back to Genesis chapter 3, listen to how he starts the conversation:

“Did God say, ‘You shall not eat from any tree in the garden?’ The woman said to the serpent ‘We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden; but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the middle of the garden, nor shall you touch it, or you shall die.’  But the serpent said to the woman ‘You will not die; for God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil..”

Yabut, did God really mean that?  Did he really tell you that you couldn’t have that?  Yabut you know if you eat of this tree, you won’t die, you’ll just have as much wisdom as God!  Look at the shiny object, Eve, you want it now don’cha?  The twist, the turn and the spurn!  The things that the yabut is made up of!

We also know that he tried this with Jesus in the desert.  Read the beginning of Luke, chapter 4 and you can see the yabut pattern yet again.  Yabut, if you really are the Son of God you can turn this stone into bread.  Yabut, if you will just join my side, I’ll give you the whole world.  Yabut, if you really are the Son of God you can jump off this building and the angels will save you.   And Satan took it up a notch by quoting what was written in scriptures.  When Satan failed with the direct assault it says that he left, waiting for a “more opportune time” to try attacking him once again.

Here is the most important thing to remember.  Satan still wanders the earth, he still attempts full frontal attacks, and if they fail, he will resort to the Yabuts.  A yabut could be self-doubt, it could be a word from a friend or family member, and usually they hit during times of severe stress.   A half truth is spoken, words and meaning are twisted and the outcome is meant for you to either reject or get angry, in other words to spurn!

Let’s say for example, you want to start a new career or business.  You have done your research, prayed about it, weighed the pros and cons of pursuing this particular path and you have decided to go ahead with it.  Maybe you lost your job due to downsizing or the poor economy and you think now is a good time to try something different.  You feel at peace with the decision.  One day, you are in a conversation with someone and you mention what you plan to do.  This person says “oh, I had another friend that tried that and they failed miserably.  Lost their home, their family and the dog.  Bad idea if you ask me!”  The yabut statement they are making is yabut, someone else already tried it and failed.  What makes you think that you can pull it off?

So, what was the full frontal attack?  Losing your job.  So what is the next line of attack?  The oh so subtle Yabuts.  New year, new century, different set of people, same pattern!  Yabuts can stop you in your tracks if you let them!

How deep is your faith?  How much do you trust God?  This is what Satan chooses to test.  He did it with Eve, he did it with Job and he did it with Jesus.  The pattern continues to this day.  That’s why it is so important to focus on your spiritual life, your faith walk, because there will be times of testing.

In Psalm 1, we are reminded to meditate on the law day and night.  The Wesley Study Bible notes say that the word meditate, as it is used in this Psalm, literally means “to mumble or utter its words under one’s breath.”

Deepen your faith by studying God’s word.  Meditate-have some verses of scripture deep inside of you.   At some point in time you will face a yabut moment.  Discern and respond.  Trust God.  Deepen your faith because that faith will carry you through when you need it the most!

Prayer as Conversation-Pray Like You Mean It!

Psalm 145 is David’s description of who God is.  He uses words like magnificent, mercy, grace, boundless, slow to anger, good, generous.  Towards the end of the Psalm The Message paraphrase says this:

“God’s there listening for all who pray, all who pray and mean it.”

That phrase makes me wonder.  Do we sometimes pray and not really mean it?  Do we “have not because we ask not?”  Are we dealing with a case of insincere prayer, sometimes?

How does one pray and not mean what they pray?  It’s an interesting question.  It resonates with something I learned in one of the workshops that I attended at Leadership Institute.  The workshop was led by Rev. Dr. Constance Cherry and it focused on corporate prayer during worship services.  She asked a question that really put the importance of prayer in perspective.  If the people  in this congregation only had me to teach them to pray, what would their concept of God be like?  We may not realize it, but prayer is an important part of a worship service and we need to give it the same consideration that we give other elements as well.

Are we demonstrating that prayer is a conversation?  Are we showing them that God is vast, wondrous and close?  Do we acknowledge God’s presence?  Bottom line, are we teaching our members how to pray?

You may think that is an odd question but think about it, do we teach our members how to pray just for the sake of praying or do we teach them how to have a conversation with God.  A conversation involves not only talking but also listening.  People know how to talk, the fine art of listening-sometimes that isn’t as strongly or equally emphasized.  Dr. Cherry did an informal study and discovered that in all services, prayer time has become less and less during corporate worship.  Corporate worship, our Sunday morning services, are prime opportunities to model prayer conversation.  We shy away from quiet or silence because it’s uncomfortable.  It’s uncomfortable in worship and it’s uncomfortable in private prayer time.  We, as a society,  have become accustomed to noise!

And perhaps that is where the insincere praying comes in to play.  We pray a lot but do we ever stop and listen?  Imagine how frustrating that must be to God.  “Here I am!  I hear you!  Could you stop talking long enough so I can speak to you?”  What would God have to say to you if he could get a word in edgewise?  Interesting thought to consider, if you ask me!  It may be frightening to some but if you look at the list of attributes that David writes about, God wants to speak lovingly, not in a harsh negative manner.  Sure, the possibility exists that there may be some correction but God is slow to anger!  So chances are, there will be a lot of good things, if we are willing to stop long enough to listen!

Can we learn to become comfortable with silence again in our worship services and in our private prayer time?  Can we pray our prayer and wait patiently and quietly for a response?  Can we begin to converse with God again and have a sincere conversation?  Will we learn the fine art of pausing and waiting for the presence of the Lord?

I know that this is a goal for me over the next year.  Talk less, listen more!  Lord give me strength because quietly waiting is not one of my stronger qualities!  But I’m willing to learn!

God Encircles His People

This phrase in Psalm 125 (The Message paraphrase) caught my eye:

"Mountains encircle Jerusalem, and God encircles his people-always has and always will"

The word picture caught my attention because I can visualize it in my mind.  Having grown up in Vermont, I can picture a place that is fully surrounded by mountains because, where I lived, no matter what direction you looked in, there were mountains!  Hunger Mountain, Camels Hump, Mount Mansfield!  They were always there, solid, unmovable, but always changing!  In the winter, they were brilliant white, with shadows of light and dark gray, or pinkish orange at sunset.  In early spring, the white would start to fade and the gray bark of the trees and the dark color of the soil would begin to show through until the leaves would start showing up in their lime green outfits.  Summer brought deep dark greens and blues depending on the shadows as the clouds drifted lazily across the range.  Fall was when the riotous colors of bright red, orange and soft yellow would dance across the landscape in a blaze of glory!  Same exact mountains, different faces depending on the season.

God does the same thing, although we may not realize it consciously.  He is always there, always surrounding us, even if we do not realize that he is present.  Unmovable but changing as the season requires.  Sometimes we perceive the bright fresh newness of his spirit.  Sometimes we experience the riot of colors during worship.    Other times, we may laze about like on a summer day and just enjoy his presence.  During our winters of discontent we may wake up and see the bright hope, like freshly fallen snow when the sun shines on its surface.  Same God, different faces.  Always present, always there.

There are a lot of things I miss about Vermont and the mountains would be one item that makes my list.  Good days or bad days, you could always look out of the window, or simply look up, and there they were!  On rainy days they might be obscured behind a bank of clouds, but you knew they were still there!  There is something very powerful and comforting about mountains.  Perhaps it's because they have withstood the ravages of time, the storms and the sunshine, and still they stand in all of their majesty and glory.  A testament that things can and do endure.  Something you can see, touch and perceive.

Does God still endure?  A strange question, but one that we "modern civilized" individuals should ask.  Do we believe that God can and does endure, even today, with everything going on around us?  Do we believe that God still surrounds us with his loving care and protection?  Can we sense his presence and see his varied faces during times of joy and sorrow?  How often do we notice what is right around us, when we are so busy trying to keep up?

Let me stop beating around the bush and be more direct.  For many who believe in God, they believe on an intellectual level.  It's a head knowledge belief, rather than a heart knowledge belief.  Oh, many modern day Christians believe but that's as far as it goes.  Even individuals who claim to have no religious affiliation would say that they believe that there is a God!  It's easy to say yes, I believe, but it's a lot harder to take the time to know who you believe in!  We're so busy, it's non stop go, go, go!  Seriously, when is the last time you looked up and saw the stars-really took the time to look at them?  When is the last time that you watched a sunset, or a moon rise and let it take your breath away? When did you just go outside and stand in the wind and let it wash all over you?  We have to do the same thing with knowing God. We have to get out of our head and connect with our heart.  We have to stop and look.  Feel and listen.  Experience in order to perceive.

We need to take the time to go beyond believing to knowing and we do that by experience.  Knowing helps you weather the storms.  Knowing makes you appreciate the joy of the sunny days in life.  Knowing helps you appreciate the presence of God through all of the seasons.  Just like the mountains that I grew up among, knowing means that you accept and understand that they are there even when you can not see them.  I didn't know that the mountains were there simply because I read it in a book or I saw a picture.  I had experience!  Can each of us honestly say that we know God is still there even when we can not "see" or "feel" his presence?  Have we taken the time to know God?  Can you say, yes I know because I have experience?

That is a question that we each have to answer at some point in time.  It can be a slow and tedious process to go from believing to knowing but don't worry.  God is there.  God is always there, surrounding you, like the mountains, patiently guarding and guiding you with his love.  You may not "see" him or "feel" him but he is still there, waiting for you to start to know him!  The Bible doesn't say "be still and believe that I am God", no, it says be still and KNOW!  Take time to know the God who encircles you-he always has, and he always will!

Forgiveness-It's a Living Thing

King David-remember him?  He is described as a "man after God's own heart", the giant slayer, the great leader of Israel.  King David the ultimate perfect God follower.  If you read in the Old Testament though, you realize that he was just as flawed as the rest of us.  Maybe that's why he is included in so much of the Old Testament, as a reminder to the rest of us that God can use even flawed individuals to do great things!

So it was with great interest that I read Psalm 109 in The Message paraphrase which is noted as "A David Prayer".  It starts off in the positive:

"My God don't turn a deaf ear to my hallelujah prayer..."

It goes down hill from there.  Basically he is praying for God to obliterate an enemy.  Here's just a part of the Psalm:

"Give him a short life and give his job to somebody else.  Make orphans of his children, dress his wife in widow's weeds; Turn his children into begging street urchins, evicted from their homes-homeless.  May the bank foreclose and wipe him out, and strangers, like vultures, pick him clean.  May there be no one around to help him out, no one willing to give his orphans a break.  Chop down his family tree so that nobody even remembers his name." 

It goes on, but you get the gist.  This was not a lovey-dovey, warm and fuzzy prayer.  This was the prayer of a man at the end of his rope wishing that the person who persecuted him was wiped out!

Let's be honest, we have all had similar thoughts and prayers at some point in our lives.  Our prayers though, are not documented like David's prayers!  We have been wronged and yet, the other person just keeps on keeping on.  Why why why do they not get their come uppance?  Where is the delivery for us, the justice we seek?  Seriously, haven't we endured enough?  Good Christians are not supposed to think that way, yet we all have those moments.

There have been times in my own life when I have endured some things I would not wish upon anyone else!  There have been times when I wondered why a house didn't fall out of the sky (a la Wizard of Oz) or why someone didn't get struck by lightening because they oh so deserved that fate!  Forgiveness was not exactly high on my list.  I had done nothing wrong yet I was the one who was suffering.  They needed to ask ME for forgiveness, not the other way around!  THEY were the ones who needed to be stopped.  THEY were the ones who needed to pay.

Yet, Jesus told us to forgive.  Not just once but "seven times seventy", or in other words, forgive without end. "But God," we argue, "they surely don't deserve it and they definitely haven't earned it!"  But that's not the point.  Forgiveness is not about letting someone off the hook.  No, it's far more personal.  Forgiveness allows you to be free from carrying the burden.  Anger unchecked, festers and it turns into bitterness and bitterness will eat you from the inside out.  To become totally and utterly absorbed by bitterness is an ugly thing.  It clouds your perception and taints everything in your life.  How you live, your relationships with others, your work become driven by your need for revenge.  It not only effects you spiritually, but it can effect you physically.  The longer you carry the burden the heavier it gets and the more exhausted you become!  No wonder Jesus was so clear about the need to forgive!  Forgiveness isn't just a "thing", it's a living thing!  If you want to live, really live, then you have to make a choice to let things go.  YOU have to choose to forgive!

If I sound like I speak from the voice of experience, you're right.  I've lived out both scenarios.  One time, when I was younger and I couldn't let go of what had been done to me, I made myself so miserable that I got to the point that I didn't want to live.  I attempted suicide.  Not as a way to "get even", no, I just wanted the pain to end!  I wasn't sleeping, I certainly wasn't eating right and my only thought was revenge.  I was consumed with settling the score.  There was no room for forgiveness in my heart.  A wise friend talked with me about it and I described how I felt and I clearly said "I am the victim, I can't forgive, I don't have the strength to forgive!"  My wise friend said, "you don't have the strength but God does, give it to him!"  So I said a prayer, "not by my strength but by the Lord's strength I forgive."  And it wasn't easy!  I had to say that prayer over and over and over again!  After a time though, it got easier.  I had to say it less often.  It got to the point where my first thought in the morning was not about revenge on my assailant.  It got to the point when it wasn't the last thought at night.  Eventually I got to a point where I stopped thinking about it completely.  I went from victim to victor.  I learned to forgive and in the process I got my life back!

Fast forward to a few years ago when I was attacked and accused unfairly.  It was just as painful, I was just as angry.  The difference though was I refused to let the bitterness consume me!  It wasn't easy, but I had learned my lesson.  I didn't want to go back to the way I had been when I was younger!  So I said the prayer again and I kept going and kept living.  Lo and behold, there came an opportunity to get my revenge.  I could have filed charges and had this individual thrown into jail and had a lien put on all of his posessions.  He would have lost everything.  I had individuals telling me that I should go ahead because he had certainly earned it for the hell he had put me (and my family) through and he surely deserved it so why not settle the score?  I didn't do it.  In the whole scheme of things, my act of forgiveness was more important to me than the satisfaction I might gain from seeking revenge.  I had moved on and I wasn't going back!  I chose to forgive and then live and that mattered more to me!

In this life people will hurt you through no fault of your own.  Yes, you have been wronged.  You have a right to be angry about what you have lost.  But you also have a choice.  You can choose to nurse that anger or you can choose to forgive.  When you choose to stop carrying the burden you choose to live.  Instead of focusing your energy on what you have lost and the person responsible for that loss you are instead free to focus on moving ahead!  What you choose to focus on dictates how you live.  And living is a whole lot easier when you let go of that burden and choose to forgive!  Another word for forgiveness is grace.  Grace is the essence of living because it opens up new and wonderful opportunites.  It truly is a living thing!

So the lesson of David's Psalm is this-we may feel the exact same way as he did, and justifiably so!  We may even have times when we pray a prayer just like his prayer.  But we have a choice.  We can wrap that anger around us like a comfortable blanket until it encloses us in bitterness or we can let it go and choose to forgive. Our choice will effect how we live.  Choose to forgive if you truly want to live!

I Love Her Because of Her Indomitable People

Photo by Amy James

As I write this, I am keenly aware that the flooding threat from Irene is not over with.  New Jersey is evacuating people by boat from their homes because the water is still rising.  The water is rising in Connecticut as well.  My prayers go out to all those who are effected.

Photo by Denis Boucher

The news from Vermont is better than yesterday, but far from over with, as far as recovery.  The state officials have managed to get to 12 out of the 13 towns that were cut off from supplies.  Clean up efforts are underway, but there is a long way to go!  And there are still people who are stuck where they are because the roads are still inaccessible.

Photo by Sandy Dibbell

My cousin, experienced this first hand.  Rose was actually able to make it home to Camels Hump after being stuck in Burlington for two days.  She described the drive like this: "picture a road made of soft chocolate with dips and curves and a space barely wide enough for a car, the road falling away as you drive."  She got in but she wasn't so sure she was getting back out today, but she was grateful to finally be home!

I was talking to my sister last night, as she was busy baking muffins and coffee cake to bring to the local fire station this morning.   She mentioned how God seems to give you what you need, when you need it.  She had read Psalm 69 that morning:

"Save me, O God, for the waters have come up to my neck.  I sink in the deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me.  I am weary with my crying; my throat is parched.  My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God."

I think a lot of people in Vermont felt that way initially.  The disaster was overwhelming!  In this situation people have two choices.  They can think "every man for himself".  Or, they can think "every neighbor helping neighbor."  They chose the second option!  People pitched in to help those they knew, and those they didn't know at all, in cleaning up what was left behind.  There were individuals who pulled out their ATVs, Mountain bikes, even horses to get in to areas that had been cut off, in order to check on people and to bring in supplies.  Message boards sprang up to share photos and information and offer assistance.  Everyone was in this together and everyone was doing what they could to help others.  One of the best articles I saw on this, was in the Burlington Free Press.  Message From Rochester 

Photo by Sandy Dibbell

My sister said that Psalm 69 reminded her that it was time to stop wallowing and time to start helping.  Many of my friends have said the same thing!  My friend Amy, who was one of the first people to post pictures from my hometown, is working with the local Little League to gather supply donations to distribute to those in need.  Another friend, Alan, worked tirelessly to get the water out of the basement at Wesley United Methodist church.  There are many many people doing similar things because they understand the importance of faith in action and showing love to your neighbors.  They also understand that everyone is their neighbor, even the stranger!

Photo by Denis Boucher

Photo by Amy James

My friends, Amy James, Sandy Dibbell and my brother in law, Denis Boucher, were kind enough to give me permission to share some of their photos with you.  I can describe the devastation to you, but a picture is worth a thousand words!  These photos were taken after the water had gone down-it was actually much worse!  Amy and Denis posted photos from my hometown of Waterbury.  My friend Sandy lives near Cavendish/Reading area and her photos are from that area.  All over the state, the photos are similar, the destruction aftermath is major!

I could say that Vermont is down but not out but I don't think that's a true statement.  Vermont isn't down!  Vermonters are just dusting themselves off and rolling up their sleeves to get to work!  Vermonters are tough and resilient and they have brought out the very best in each other!  I am so very proud of my home state and the way that they have banded together!  President Calvin Coolidge had a wonderful quote attributed to him and it is the inspiration for the title of this blog post:

"Vermont is a state I love...I love Vermont because of her hills and valleys, her scenery and invigorating climate, but most of all, I love her because of her indomitable people."

I have shared with you about Vermont because Vermont is what I know!  But I also know that there are similar stories all over the northeast, mid-Atlantic and south and that is a reason to celebrate!   In our jaded society people have not forgotten the golden rule.  Kindness and caring do still exist!  Faith is still alive and well!

For those of you who are wanting to help out, I know the United Methodist Committee on Relief has something set up for North Carolina and the Pennsylvania area but I have not seen anything specific for New England.  When I do, I will post a link.   If you would like to help out in Vermont specifically, the Stowe Reporter posted an article online with specific links to organizations where you can donate.

Ways to Help Vermont Flood Victims

To my friends and family back home, I am with you in spirit!  I love you all-you indomitable people!

Reclaiming the Essence of Worship

Worship is a touchy subject in many churches.  What makes it such a painful topic of conversation is "format" or "style of worship".  These disagreements have caused some serious rifts in congregations-worship wars!  I have some very strong opinions on worship and having planned worship, led worship and participated in worship I have just one thing to say.  Get over it!!!  Worship is not about "how" you do it, it is about why!

I like this take on worship in Psalm 100 in The Message paraphrase:

"On your feet now-applaud God!  Bring a gift of laughter, sing yourselves into his presence...Enter with the password: 'Thank you!' Make yourselves at home, talking praise.  Thank him.  Worship him."

Bottom line, it's not about us feeling good.  It is about us praising God and thanking God.  That is the whole point and all roads in regards to worship had better lead to God!  It's just that simple.

I, being a lover of all music, can worship God equally as well with a hymn as I can with a contemporary praise song!  Classical music?  Excellent.  Gregorian chant?  Inspiring.  Gospel music?  Fantastic!  I love it all and I can find a path to worship through any of these styles of music.  This is probably why I find worship wars so utterly ridiculous and pointless!  As far as I am concerned, the arguments miss the point!  A well planned worship service always leads the congregation on to the path of praise, thankfulness and worship in the presence of God!  Who are you focusing on?  What is your focus?  Are you really focusing on worshiping God?  Why did you pick this song or hymn?  Why do you have the service in this order?  If you are planning worship, then details matter!  Let me give you a couple of examples.

When I took over planning the contemporary service at our church there was one change that I insisted on which caught everyone by surprise.  It involved lighting the candles up front.  I wanted a child in our congregation to "bring the light in" and "carry the light out".  I didn't suggest this simply because I liked the idea!  I insisted on it because it was symbolic.  A child, bringing in the light of Christ, that light, prominently displayed up front and at the end of the service, a child carrying the light of Christ out in to the world.  Symbols matter!  They are important and I thought it was important to bring some of that symbolism back in to the service!  If the whole point of worship is about praising God and thanking God, a child is a good reminder about approaching the throne with child like faith!

Another complaint that I have heard is about saying the Lord's prayer.  Everybody does it by rote, it's just a part of the service, it means nothing, blah blah blah.  Well, maybe the reason it is rote is because someone hasn't done a thorough enough job of explaining the meaning behind it.  Or maybe it is because we as individuals haven't stopped long enough to think about what that prayer really says!

Let's stop and think about this for a minute and break it down.  "Our father"-yours, mine and everyone whether they acknowledge God or not.  "Who art in heaven"-the place that we are a part of yet is bigger than anything we can imagine.  "Hallowed be they name"-father totally rocks and we should honor him!  "Thy kingdom come"-I can't wait to see the big picture!  "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven"-help me do and act the way that you would, father!  "Give us this day our daily bread"-provide for me what I need to do what you ask of me today.  "And forgive us our trespasses"-forgive my stumbles and ignorance.  "As we forgive those who trespass against us."-remind me that I need to forgive those who have hurt me.  "And lead us not in to temptation"-give me the wisdom to not do the wrong thing!  "But deliver us from evil"-let your holy spirit guide my every move.  "For thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever!" - your world is more real than this world and you are in control of all of it!   Thank goodness! "Amen"-so be it.

That was long but I think you get my point.  Everything that is a part of worship should have meaning.  The words, the symbols and the order matter.  And if you have to take a minute to explain it then do it-educate your congregation!  Think of worship planning like a river.  A river has rapids and quiet pools but a river always flows forward. The trees, the flowers and the rocks are there for a reason.  The point of worship is to praise God and to thank God and the river of worship should flow forward and bring us closer to that essence of worship.  And if you are a member of the congregation, remember that spirit of thanksgiving as you join with others to worship God with your presence and your praise!

So instead of wasting our time bickering over worship style why don't we instead focus on why we worship?  Let's focus instead on reclaiming the essence and true purpose of worship!  Regardless of what format or style that you use, make sure that what you do leads the congregation towards praising God and thanking God!  If all roads lead to God then you will have an inspiring worship service-regardless of style!  It's time that the people of God reclaim the essence of worship!  Amen and Amen!

I'm getting off my soapbox now...

Sometimes You Just Have to Shovel the Manure

My daily Bible reading this morning came out of Psalms.  Psalm 93 in The Message Paraphrase starts off with this:

"God is King, robed and ruling.  God is robed and surging with strength.  And yes, the world is firm, immovable, Your throne ever firm-you're Eternal!"

My first thought was "this is exactly what I've been talking about the last few days!"  Then that little voice piped in and said "yes, and sometimes you have to dig through all the crap to get to that firm foundation."  My response was "Lord, you don't want me to write about manure do you???  Seriously????"  Well, folks, guess what the answer was to that question!  Yeah, today we're going to talk about the unglamorous world of shoveling manure!  This should be a doozey!

For those of you who did not grow up on a farm, you need to understand two things.  First, farm animals produce waste which comes out of the back side nether regions of their anatomy.  Second, farm animals do not clean up after themselves.  So, if you want your farm animals to stay healthy you have to clean up after them!  The responsible owner grabs their trusty pitchfork and shovel and starts scooping up the mixture of manure, straw, sawdust and hay and usually puts it in a wheelbarrow to cart it out to a pile outside of the barn.  And this mixture is not solid, it's kind of spongy and squishy so you have to make sure that you get down to the solid floor before you put down new bedding, otherwise you're just leaving the old stuff there to fester which isn't good for the animals.  It's a smelly job.  It's a lot of hard work.  But you know that if you are going to raise animals this comes with the territory!

So what about the pile itself.  Isn't it useful for something?  Eventually, yes, but it takes some time.  A gardener knows that you can't put fresh manure on a garden with fledgling plants because the nitrogen content is too high and it will literally burn the plants and kill them.  Manure is only good to a garden after it has rotted down or composted for awhile.  Well rotted manure provides helpful nutrients to plants when it is worked in to the garden soil.  Composting doesn't happen over night, it takes time to get it to just the right consistency to make it useful!

So what does manure have to do with theology and life?  Information overload.  Processes and procedures.  Sometimes so much is thrown at us at one time that we're not sure where the foundation lies!  We're simply walking on the spongy manure that covers the firm foundation!  If you let it lay there long enough it festers and then it becomes unhealthy for you!  In order to find that nugget of truth, that firm foundation, sometimes you just have to pick up a shovel and start digging!  You have to dig through all the crap in order to discern the truth, the firm foundation laid bare underneath all of the hype and spin!  You have to remove the manure!

Media outlets like to sensationalize lots of things-making mountains out of molehills at times.  One pundit says one thing, another pundit says the opposite-who is telling the truth?  Or, perhaps there are elements of truth in both positions?  In order to get to that truth you have to think critically and dig for the facts.  You must act to seek the source, the foundation upon which these opposing views are built.  If you want the truth, you have to do the digging!  Churches are not immune to this phenomenon either.  Lots of "new" ideas are being proposed and some of them can be helpful and some of them probably should be discarded.  But you'll never know which is which unless you are willing to do some shoveling to get down to the basics!

The same thing applies to your faith walk as well.  If you want to know the heart of God you have to do some digging and seek the foundation.  Scripture reading, prayer, worship and discernment are all critical tools to use!  They are your pitchfork and shovel and if you use them carefully you can dig down to the truth.  There may be things in your personal life that you just need to get rid of!  There may be things that eventually will bear fruit but they need to compost for awhile.  Spiritual discernment is the act of digging for the truth.  It's a journey that others can help you with but the work is something that you have do do for yourself.  It forces you to ask the question-do these things point to the source?  If not, then you have to do some digging and discard some of these things on to the pile outside the barn door!  And some of them may be like fresh manure-they are just too hot to use right now and they need to be allowed the time to compost down so they can be really useful.  Others just need to be removed in order to get to the truth!

Some of you will probably notice that I didn't mention mission and outreach in this list.  There's a reason for that-mission and outreach are outward signs of change that occurs within you.  You can't transform the world around you until you transform the world within you.  When inner transformation happens your vision and your mission have true meaning to you and clear purpose.  You're not going through the motions simply to go through the motions.  You're doing the work because you know that the work matters!  And John Wesley's sermons will back me up on this point!  Change comes from within!  Change is spirit driven!

Understand this though-underneath all the hype and hoopla God is still there!  He has always been there as the firm and solid foundation just like the Psalm says.  He can be found if you choose to go looking.  The job may be messy but you have the tools.  Sometimes in order to get to the truth you just have to decide to start shoveling the manure in your life.  Finding the foundation is worth the work and it is part of the journey.  Anyone up for a little dig?  I sincerely hope so! 

Thoughts on Roads Taken and Not Taken

Growing up in Vermont, I was introduced to Robert Frost and his poetry at a very young age.  I loved his poetry so much that my parents gave me an unabridged collection of his poems as a graduation present.  I still have that book after all these years!

I was reminded of a Robert Frost poem today as I read Psalm 84 in The Message paraphrase:

"And how blessed all those in whom you live, whose lives become roads you travel; They wind through lonesome valleys, come upon brooks, discover cool springs and pools brimming with rain!  God-traveled, these roads curve up the mountain, and at the last turn-Zion!  God in full view!"

One of my favorite poems by Robert Frost is titled "The Road Not Taken."  I was reminded of the last few lines in the poem:

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."

How many times have we come to a fork in the road and had to make a decision about which one we were going to take?  Take this job or not?  Make this move or stay put?  Choices, choices, choices and you have to decide which one is best!  One path being well worn, the other less traveled.  That well worn path can seem pretty tempting but a spirit filled life tends to lead towards taking the road less traveled.  There's a huge difference between following the crowd and following where God leads.  The obvious choice may not be the God choice! 

Discernment-what is God asking you to do?  It involves a lot of prayer and waiting on that still small voice.  Especially if the least traveled path doesn't look like a path at all at first glance!  It may look like you have to blaze a trail and cut a path yourself!  Truth be told, God has already traveled that way, he has laid down the path, all we are asked to do is follow.   Once you step on to that path it suddenly becomes more obvious!  Suddenly, right there in front of you is a brook, a well watered spring!  Who knew that you would find such beauty on this path!  It was there all along, just waiting for you!  You just had to make the choice to follow!

Change can be incredibly scary!  You're taking a risk and you're not sure of the outcome.  Well meaning friends and family tell you that you've lost your mind to even consider doing something different!  Why would anyone in their right mind veer from the path that they are on-that well worn path that others follow?  It's not "logical" it makes no sense!  What is God asking you to do?  What is that still small voice saying to you?  Do you trust God to lead?  Do you have enough faith to follow?

Jesus tells the parable in Luke 19 about the three servants that were given a sum of money by their master to look after while he was away.  The first servant doubled the money, the second made a 50% profit but the third, out of fear, put the money in the cellar for safe keeping.  The money was taken from the third servant and given to the first servant.  When the disciples questioned Jesus about this, The Message paraphrase says that Jesus responded by saying:

"Risk you life and get more than you ever dreamed of.  Play it safe and end up holding the bag."

Two roads diverged in the woods.  Which path are you being asked to take?  Which one will you choose to follow?