The Love of a True Father!

I've always thought Joseph gets short shift when we talk about the story of Jesus and his birth.  He's the guy engaged to Mary.  He's the one who takes her to Bethlehem.  He's the one who finds shelter in the stable.  He's the one who takes them to Egypt for awhile and then back to Nazareth and that's pretty much what we hear about Joseph.  He's just sorta there, like the sheep or the cattle.  But stop and think-how differently would things have turned out if Joseph had just said no? 

He finds out the woman that he is engaged to is pregnant and he knows that he is not the father.  We know he's honorable because he had a plan in place to marry her and then quietly divorce her in order to avoid Mary facing scandal.  And when the angel comes to speak to him in a dream, he listens and does what is asked of him!  More importantly, he raises Jesus as his own flesh and blood.  That my friends is not a minor footnote contribution!  God is the father of Jesus, but Joseph was his earthly father!  True fatherhood, the love of a man for a child who is not his own can be far more precious than any of us realize!

I was reminded of this in my own life yesterday.  It's also the reason I didn't blog yesterday because something big came up and it had to be dealt with immediately.  My daughter called my husband early in the morning.  She is being transferred to a different base and she was scheduled to leave today.  She had been having problems with her Jeep, which she has to drive to the new base because she has to move herself and be reimbursed later.  She's had it in the shop three times in the last week-they thought they had gotten it fixed.  But when she drove her Jeep yesterday morning it started doing exactly the same thing.  So, she called my husband, her step-father because, well, this was a big huge problem!  She had a (and I use this term loosely) "friend" who offered to haul her Jeep, her stuff and her up to the new base but there were "strings" attached to this offer.  Not cool!  Let's just say daddy had his mind made up on a course of action before they even finished the conversation.  I saw the look in Kenny's eyes.  I knew what was coming!  Come hell or high water he was going to drive cross country in order to safely deliver our daughter to the new base and fix that Jeep while he was at it!  I started packing his bag.

This is not just a hop skip and a jump away.  We are in the middle of the country.  The drive to my parents house in Vermont is 1200 plus miles one way.  My husband is driving to the southeastern coast, loading the Jeep onto a tow-dolly, hauling it up the east coast to the northern part of the United States and then turning around and driving all of the way back here!  Did I mention that he is going to try to be back here by Sunday night?!  By the time he's done, he will have driven about 3,000 plus miles in a matter of days.  The man has a father's heart!  If he didn't love my daughter like one of his own, he wouldn't be making that kind of drive!

When I married Kenny I came as a package deal.  I was a full time mother.  I had my two young children full time.  There was not alternating weekends.  There was some holiday breaks but they usually didn't happen because something always seemed to crop up that made it "impossible" for the ex to take the kids.  My husband loved them and raised them just like they were his own.  He always said "there are no steps in this family!"  They have always been "his children". 

It's an amazing and extraordinary gift, this true father's love!  As we celebrate Advent let's not forget the important part that Joseph played.  He loved Jesus as his own.  He gave him the love of a true earthly father, without reservation!  Biological connection is not always the mark of parenthood.  The true standard is how much are you willing to love?  Kenny may not have the biological connection but he has the heart connection.  He has shown my children the love of a true father! 

Kenny's example gives me a much greater appreciation and understanding of just what Joseph did!  How precious a gift indeed!

By the way, he's already there.  Got the call about 30 minutes ago.  Keep them in your prayers-they've got a long way to go!

A Word Out of Your Mouth

Have you ever seen something that just made you shake your head?  It's like watching a train wreck about to happen-you can see it coming but you're not sure you can do anything about it.  Do you try to say something or do you keep your mouth shut, hoping that the tragedy will be averted?  Do you say something even if it falls on deaf  ears?

James chapter 3 in The Message Paraphrase says this:

"A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything-or destroy it!"

One might conclude that this is the "permission" to speak clause.  But, he goes on and says this later on in the same chapter:

"Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others.  It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced.  You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor."

On the one hand, if you say something, even if it is true, someone's feelings are going to get hurt.   If you say something because you see others being disrespected and taken for granted does that change the situation?

Tough call to make sometimes.  It's an even tougher call to make when you are dealing with the people closest to you.  Hard truths are tough to hear sometimes.  They're even tougher to deliver!  But before delivering that "hard truth" we have to stop and ask ourselves what is our motive behind saying something?  Is it simply because we don't agree?  Is there a bit of ego behind what is driving us to feel that we have to say something?  The motivation matters.  Can we say what we have to say while still treating the other person with honor and dignity?

I don't think that James was implying that we should never speak up.  I do think he was warning us to carefully think it through BEFORE we open our mouths.  What we may think is insignificant, others may see it as a way to build them up or tear them down.  Our words should be chosen carefully.

The bottom line to this really comes back to loving our neighbor as ourselves.  If we treat other people with honor, dignity and respect.  If we think before we speak or act-well there would be a lot less train wrecks waiting to happen!  Speak the truth, but do it to build people up, not tear them down.  If you have to bring something up in order to correct them, do it in as loving a way as possible.  Hopefully, when you or I stick our feet in our mouths, others will be kind enough to do the same.

Words really do matter!

I'm not so sure I would have picked those Disciples!

I'll be honest, I would happily have taken a pass on gleaning examples to use in my blog post this morning!  Yup, it was one of those kind of days, when everything that could go wrong, tried very hard to go wrong! 

The down hill slide started as Rob and I pulled up to the bus stop only to see the tail lights as the bus pulled away.  The bus was there 10 minutes early.  To say I was not a happy camper would be an understatement!  Seriously, the driver couldn't look in his rear view mirror and see us pulling up???  Wait a minute, that's a rather judgemental statement on my part, he has a bus load of children to keep track of!  Oops!  Then Rob suggested that I drive him to the Elementary school and he would catch the bus there!  Excellent, problem solved!  We got half way there when Rob realized that he had forgotten some papers that he had to turn in today!  Seriously, couldn't he have gotten all of his stuff together last night????  Oh, wait, that's a judgement call isn't it-he had a boatload of homework.  My bad.  So we turned around and came back home so he could get his papers.  Did I mention that I was driving the "it's o.k. to drive to the bus stop but really this is the in case of emergency" vehicle?  This particular Jeep has had some issues with overheating and it's gotten worse recently!  The drive in to Washington is measured in miles, not blocks, so needless to say I was more than a little nervous about getting stranded on the side of the road like Kenny did just last week!  I was doing a whole lot of praying and watching that temperature gauge closely!  As we were coming around the blind corner on our private road we met a car-on our side of the road!  Fortunately, it's gravel so you can't go very fast but we came within inches of being hit!  Seriously, she couldn't drive on her own side of the road???  Wait a minute, she is in a low riding car and the other side is pretty rutted, maybe she was worried about taking out the bottom side of her car.  Guess I shouldn't judge too quickly!

And thus, this morning, I got my very own life lesson about the hazards of judging others too quickly!  Here I was all set to talk about the opening of the Martin Luther King memorial and how wonderful I think it is and how this is a modern day reminder not to judge others based on one thing and one thing only!  It is a good reminder and I am so thankful that there is a wonderful memorial to this powerful minister and modern day inspiration.    I think what made him so profound was his ability to inspire faith and hope in others.  He didn't view himself as a leader, he viewed himself as a servant and that combination is rather rare these days!  In the whole scheme of things he was a very unlikely choice to be a leader of a movement!

Which brings me around to Jesus and his choice of Disciples as described in the book of Mark.  Look at who he chose-fisherman and a tax collector!  Seriously????  No credentials, no training, no indication that they could be anything more than what they were already!  Yet, he handpicked these men to become the messengers of the good news!  Jesus didn't judge on who these men were, or where they came from or what they did for a living.  He apparently saw something more-a servant's heart and untapped potential!  Honestly, how many of us would have made the choices that Jesus made based on our usual way of judging people?  If this morning is any indication, I would have to honestly confess that I probably would not have picked these men.  I would have been too busy making snap judgements rather than looking beyond and seeing the potential.  Methinks, it's time I take the plank out of my eye and stop worrying about the speck in someone else's eye! 

I have a long way to go on my walk of faith!  Thank goodness the Lord is patient!  Lord, forgive my snap judgements and stupidity and help me overcome my shortcomings!  It is painfully obvious that the problem is me!

And by the way, I made the trip in to town and back without the Jeep overheating.  Thank goodness!  There but by the grace of God go I.  And some days, I'm not all that graceful!

And You? Go About Your Business Without Fretting or Worrying

The blog post title is part of the concluding line of Daniel chapter 12 in The Message paraphrase.  With everything going on today that word of wisdom from an angel is a good reminder to all of us!

Seriously, there are certain things in life that are beyond our control that we can not do anything about.  I can not stop a stock market crash.  I can not stop a meteor if it chooses to come to close to earth.  I can not cure cancer.  This is not my area of knowledge or expertise.  For some people, this is their area of expertise and God bless them for using their skills to address certain problems!  But in the whole scheme of things there are certain things that are beyond my control and worrying myself sick over them will not help me or anyone else!  Daniel needed this reminder as well!

Prior to these closing lines Daniel had seen some pretty scary visions in vivid detail-sort of like a 3-D bad dream with surround sound!  We know he became physically ill trying to process the information and we know he got distracted from his duties because of the dreams.  Daniel even tells us that he fainted in terror.  It wasn't until an angel came and touched him that he regained some strength and then he was able to listen to the interpretation.  Bottom line, Daniel was seeing future events and they were going to happen and there was nothing that he could do about them.  He was told simply to write them down and then put the vision under lock and key because now was not the time to reveal them to others. 

I know that doesn't sound very hopeful but even in the midst of chaos God always provides hope if we are willing to listen through the ears of faith!  If you go back to chapter 10 when Daniel first encounters the angel he starts off by saying this:

"Daniel' he said, 'man of quality, listen carefully to my message...From the moment you decided to humble yourself to receive understanding, your prayer was heard, and I set out to come to you."

Now understand, at this point in time Daniel had been praying for three weeks.  The angel then goes on to explain that he was delayed because he had to fight against the prince of Persia (keep in mind that battles happen beyond our realm of seeing and understanding) and it wasn't until Michael came to help, that this angel was able to get away in order to speak to Daniel.   Makes you wonder what would have happened if Daniel had stopped praying and waiting for an answer, doesn't it?  

In chapter 12 the angel goes on to tell Daniel that there will be big battles ahead, many will die but those who have chosen to live wisely, those who lead others by their example will be saved.  The angel says this:

"And those who put others on the right path to life will glow like starts forever...In the interim there is going to be a lot of frantic running around, trying to figure out what's going on."

 At the very end the angel tells Daniel to relax and go about his business without worrying.  In other words, keep living the life you have been given to the very best of your ability.  That doesn't mean we shouldn't concern ourselves with things that we should be taking care of ourselves.  What it means is that we can't drive ourselves to distraction and despair over things that are beyond our control.  We can talk a good talk but if we don't lead by example then we can't lead others towards the path they should follow. 

Too often we fall in to one of two camps.  The first camp is the pessimist group-they worry over anything and everything and because they are so obsessed with worrying they get absolutely nothing accomplished.  The world is going to hell in a hand basket and the sky is gonna fall, so what's the point?  Everything is scary, everything is risky and rather than dealing with things right in front of them they just shut down.  The other group is the "the Lord will provide" camp.  I don't have to do anything about this because the Lord will provide.  Again, nothing gets accomplished because they just sit back and wait for the big hand in the sky to drop off what they think they need.  Thing is, what they need may be right smack in front of them but they do nothing with it because it doesn't look like anything they expected! 

There has to be balance.  Don't worry about things you can't change.  Do take care of things that you have control over.  Pray and keep praying for things you need.  Thank God when he shows you how to take care of things in ways that you did not expect.  If you keep on keeping on, regardless of circumstances people will notice.  If you want others to follow lead by example.  Give them something worth following.  And go about your business without fretting or worrying. 

Pretty good advice if you ask me!  It came from an angel.  But if you want even more evidence of what good advice this is, go read what Jesus said because he said the same exact thing!

Seriously, Who Exactly is Driving the Bus?

And the bad news just keeps rolling in!  But as my mother is fond of saying, this too shall pass!  I know the turmoil is real but this is one of those times when keeping your wits about you and focusing on the important things really can make a difference in the outcome!  Who is driving your bus?  The spirit of anarchy or the Holy Spirit that passes all understanding?  Are you living in fear or are you living by faith?  Which bus are you riding?

I have mentioned here previously that I've been working through Disciple Bible Study on my own.  This is the Bible Study program that the United Methodist Church has widely promoted as being effective in teaching about discipleship.  Wonder of wonders, after 17 weeks of study we are now FINALLY getting in to the New Testament.  And this week's section is titled "Radical Discipleship" with today's reading focusing on Matthew 3-7 (talk about perfect timing).  I've been using my Wesley Study Bible as I have gone through the Disciple study because it has extensive notes.

Contained within this section (chapter 5) is The Beatitudes-the "blessed are" verses.  John Wesley preached extensively on the Sermon on the Mount and it is worth reading what he had to say!  If you go to the Wesleyan Center for Applied Theology you can read the sermons (21-33) and I encourage you do so!  Take your time because it will deepen your understanding on these very key scripture verses. 

Now that I have gone round the mulberry bush and laid the groundwork for what I want to talk about, let me get back to my key point.  Having read this material previously and, having read Wesley's sermons I have found a couple of things already that I disagree with in the Disciple Study and in the notes in the Wesley Study Bible (it's only Tuesday, for heaven's sake!)  And in the grand scheme of things this relates to what is going on in our world today.  Why is there such a hunger for this teaching and yet such a huge misunderstanding of what it means to be a disciple?  Why does it seem like our moral compasses are so skewed and fear seems to be the predominate driving force?  Where are our leaders?  Who is driving the bus?

First, Disciple Bible Study defines a disciple as "a learner".  Having already looked up the word, I know that this is not a fully accurate definition.   It's accurate as far as it goes but it just doesn't go far enough!  A much better definition is "apprentice".  Why?  Because it clearly implies that YOU must be active in your learning.  A teacher may teach,  but YOU must practice and then ultimately you must go out and use what you have been taught!  Another key thing about apprenticeship is that you have to choose carefully who you follow.  Who will be the best teacher?  Or, in the modern vernacular "who are you going to let drive the bus?"  Who are the leaders and teachers today?  More importantly, are they the best choice? 

My second "nitpick" (and yes, I may be splitting hairs here) is the Wesley Study Bible note (section on 5:17-48) that says "Righteousness, a term that is better translated as 'justice'..."  Again, accurate as far as the definition goes but there is so much more to it!  Let me ask you this, does the word grace come to mind when you think of the word justice?  No?  The definition of righteous in my dictionary says "in conformity with the moral law".  What's the ultimate moral law in the Bible according to Jesus?  Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind and love your neighbor as yourself.  In my opinion, you have to add grace in to the mix along with justice in order to have a full understanding of what righteousness implies. The grace of God through Jesus saves those who choose to follow.  In turn, those who follow are expected to conform to the ultimate moral law, justice THROUGH grace, or put another way, justice BECAUSE of grace, which is righteousness.  To me, this is a much bigger or more accurate picture of what the word means.  There is an active component to this that has to come from me.  Am I acting justly towards others because of the grace that I have received?  Are my teachers and leaders leading by this example?  Or is it a whole lot of self-serving lip service?  Am I looking out for others or am I just looking out for me?  Do I justify my actions or do I really act justly towards others?

All of this brings me around to the topic of morals and ethics and the importance of proper teaching and proper leading.  Seriously, if you follow the news pundits you'd think the world was coming to an end!  I hate to burst your doom and gloom bubble but I have to tell ya, in my little corner of the world the sun is still shining and the birds are still singing!  Yes, the stock market has tanked, yes there has been a loss of paper money but in the whole scheme of things, is making money the ultimate end all and goal of life?  Is the "dash for cash" the key critical factor in life?  Is getting ahead really what I should be working towards?  I know money matters because it pays the bills, keeps a roof over your head and buys the food but it's meant to be a tool, not the controlling mechanism of your existence.  Yet, for a lot of people it is the only thing to live for!

There in lies the problem.  We have people leading and teaching who have made the accumulation of wealth the key component to our existence.  Their moral compass is skewed and when the spirit of anarchy decided to jump in, the end result was fear and chaos!  Panic peaked, fears drove widespread sell offs and the economic engine went splat!  Who is driving the bus?  Chicken little?  Is the sky really falling?  Isn't that what some people think?  This thinking extends far beyond the financial markets.  This extends in to government and business as well.  When the moral compass is out of whack bad policy follows!  Maybe, if those in power stopped and asked the question "is this how I would want my friends or family or neighbors to treat me" we might see some different results!  Which bus are they driving, the fear mobile or the faith express? 

All of this demonstrates why Discipleship is critical to teach and critical for those in leadership.  Apprenticeship, proper training, providing a firm understanding of the foundation and teaching others how to go out and use what they have learned-all of these are key elements to learning how to be led by the Holy Spirit in all walks of life.  It's the source-it's what feeds the deep river and it is what keeps you on track!  Without that firm moral compass you end up with anarchy.  Take a good hard look around you and ask yourself, is this really how I want to live?  Isn't there something more?  Yes, there is and now is the time to grab hold of that something more!

People of God, it's time to start raising up leaders of courage with the right moral compass to drive the bus!  It's time to stop talking about Discipleship and instead start creating true apprenticeships in order to teach courageous individuals how to step forward and lead.  We already have the blueprint, let's start using it!  Fear and chaos need to become the exception, not the rule!  It's time to grab the wheel! 

Unpacking

Well, I'm back from Vermont.  Dad's memorial service was beautiful and seeing family and friends who I hadn't seen in years was just awesome! 

I had actually planned on blogging while I was up in Vermont.  Packed the laptop and the portable Internet box and away we went.  Of course, you need a cell phone tower nearby to make it work.  There is one near Harvey Lake, brand spanking new as a matter of fact, has electricity to it and everything.  They just haven't turned it on yet!  It wasn't a question of not having enough bars on the cell, there were no bars to be had in the first place!

So I have lots to talk about this week but I need to unpack first!  We got home last night around 8ish and discovered an oven for a house.  The air conditioning had quit working.  The furnace was blowing hot air, not a window was open.  One small fan was running and the dogs were inside the house.  They are all okay, the cat is okay, every window in the house is open and we have as many fans running as we could lay our hands on!  Kenny's project for today-fix the AC AGAIN!  Me, unpacking and laundry and cleaning up after the dog romps through the house (no nasty stuff they just tore into the paper trash and ripped it into iddy biddy pieces).  All of this I need to do knowing that by noon today the temp is supposed to be somewhere around 96 with a heat index by the end of the day around 105.  And to add joy to all of this-the heat warning has been extended to Wednesday afternoon! 

Yeah, quite the welcome home.  Sigh...yup mama said there'd be days like this.  Think I'll daydream about Harvey Lake.

Simple Acts of Kindness

Proverbs 12:25 has this wonderful bit of wisdom:

"Anxiety weighs down the human heart, but a good word cheers it up."

Anxiety I had in spades!  Tuesday morning I had a 3:00 crying jag because I wasn't exactly sure how things were going to turn out. 

It all started Monday.  After my darling husband was able to fix the air conditioner so we didn't roast, I had to move on to another issue that had been weighing heavily on my mind-dad's funeral.  I knew mom was concerned (okay, she was starting to stress out) because all of the children and grandchildren were coming to her house-at the same time!  First off, it's not a big house.  Second the well is let's just say slightly tempermental.  Sure we could set up tents in the back yard but if the well went down, that was going to be a huge and very expensive problem to fix!  So after talking to Kenny, we decided that it would be best to try to find a place to stay. 

Most people think of Vermont as snowy-a place to go skiing.  Actually though, the busiest tourist season in the state is summer time because of the lakes and fishing and hiking and a host of other activities.  So I knew I was facing a virtual "Mission Impossible" to try and find something that was available and that we could afford to rent.  So I started making phone calls.  First I called a good friend of mine who not only owns a vacation rental company but I also worked for this individual.  Someone was supposed to call me back-they never did.  Now I could talk about how hurt I was by the snub, but I'm not going to.  I would much rather tell you about the kindness and generosity of spirit of two wonderful ladies who I have not met but will hold dear in my heart for the rest of my life! 

When a return phone call didn't come, my next call was to Stowe Realty Rentals where I spoke to Kim Rushford.  They did have a beautiful small cottage available on Harvey Lake.  I loved it, my husband loved it but we weren't sure we would be able to afford to do the rental.  So I told her I would call her back once we made a decision.  I tried a few other places and then someone suggested that I call a realtor in Craftsbury.  I left a message and within less than an hour I had a call back from Barbara Paterson.  She actually owns a couple of properties and has her own website called Never Enough Vermont and her cottage was available at a price I thought we could afford.  I fell in love with it as well! 

Long story short, I was getting ready to call Kim back and let her know that I had found another place when Kim called me!  She apologized and said "I quoted you the wrong price" and then told me what the correct price would be for the rental.  We couldn't pass it up! 

I can not begin to tell you how incredibly grateful I am to these two wonderful ladies!  They went over, above and beyond the call of duty!  Their incredible acts of kindness for a complete stranger makes me so proud to be able to say "I'm from Vermont!" 

If you ever get a chance to visit Vermont in the summer time (and I highly recommend that you do visit), call either one of these fabulous women!  100 gold stars for both of them!  They are true gems and they represent the Vermont that I remember and cherish and love!

Thank you Kim and Barbara for your kind words and outstanding help and service!  From a grieving but grateful heart~Trudy

Charred Lemons

I wish I had something really profound to say today but I'm a little sleepy since I've been up on and off since 1:30 this morning!  When life gives you lemons you make lemonade, right?  Even when they're charred!

We have dogs.  And for whatever reason, they decided that they needed to go outside at 1:30 in the morning.  Which meant I had to get up...ugh!  But, had they not decided to take a jolly jaunt outside I wouldn't have noticed that the house seemed to be warming up, nor would I have noticed the funny "hot" smell or the fact that the Air Conditioner was not shutting off in it's usual cycle.  Usually when this happens it is a sign that the condenser tray is not draining fast enough and water is backing up.  So I pulled the top cover and checked but it looked fine.  It was pretty hot outside and it seemed to be blowing semi cool air so I figured we would be o.k. until 4:00 when my husband Kenny got up for work.  By the way, did I mention we are under a heat advisory which means the afternoon air temp is supposed to hit around 100 before factoring in the humidity?  Yeah, we had a toasty day ahead of us!

Four in the morning is a hard time for having a good time!  Kenny got up and I told him about the AC blowing unusually warm air.  So he checked the top, just like I did-nothing there.  That meant checking under the house which meant unscrewing the skirting by flashlight to check the drainage line.  With flashlight and broom in hand he crawled under.  It was unusually wet.  So he crawled back out and went under the porch to check the outside drainage line-dry as a bone.  Meanwhile, he had me turn off the Air Conditioner inside the house.  The outside compressor shut off but the blower fan did not.  That was not a good sign!  We cut the power at the fuse box and then opened up the bottom.  It was wet.  So Kenny started taking it apart.  He discovered that the water had not run in to the drain, it had run straight down to the bottom of the furnace and the wiring and relay switches were wet, which caused them to char and just about completely charred and melted the relay switch for the furnace.  The furnace and the AC were both running at the same time.  Really bad would be an understatement!

Fortunately I am married to a guy who builds airplanes for a living and whose favorite weekend hobby is turning wrenches on vehicles.  He has the uncanny gift of being able to reverse engineer anything he takes apart!  So that's what he did!  He took the whole shabang apart, created his own schematic and then went in to town later in the morning to get the parts to fix it.  I have air conditioning again!  Woo hoo!

Kenny still needs to build the solution to the initial problem but he already has a plan, he just needs to get the pieces parts to build it and install it below the condenser coils. 

My husband-my hero!  Not only is he good looking, he's pretty handy to have around!  Pass the lemonade.  Pardon the charred taste.