Not Blessed???? It's all in the Looking

Well, the media has confirmed something that I already instinctively knew.  I am no longer in the middle of American middle class.  My standard of living is lower than what my parents experienced.  I, like many other Americans, find myself on the lower end of the scale.  Tell me something I didn’t already know, will ya?

Money isn’t my driving factor.  Sure, it would be nice to have a little more just to be able to go out shopping once in awhile.  But, I’m fortunate-I still have a roof over my head.  I know how to cook and bake which helps.  I don’t need the latest fanciest vehicle.  My husband has been able to keep our vehicles running because he is a grease monkey mechanic at heart!  He works on cars for fun!  My Jeep has 280,000 plus miles on it and it’s still running well.  It’s a much older model than most people would drive and I have it because of where we live.  There are certain times of the year when the only way to get in and out of “east middle of nowhere” is with 4 wheel drive.  So, it’s not a status thing, it’s a practical thing.  Shelter, food, water, they are the essentials and right now, we’re covered!  When you think about all of the individuals just in the United States who have no shelter and no food, let alone individuals around the world who are in a similar situation, it’s tough to complain when you are in better shape than they are!

There are many people in this country who would look at me and pity how I live.  I don’t have as much as they do.  I don’t get to eat out or go to the movies or shop.  I don’t live in as nice a house as they do.  I don’t drive as nice a car as they do.  Compared to them, they view my life as dismal.

I have a different view.  I pity them for being so enslaved to the almighty dollar.  A beautiful sunset can take my breath away.  Watching the birds in the yard can be highly entertaining.  Seeing deer or wild turkeys wander through is priceless.  Playing board games with my children and seeing them become better and better is a wonderful feeling!  My children are healthy.  I’m able to spend time with them.  I can come up with an amazing meal from practically nothing.  My husband can fix practically anything!  I appreciate what I have and I’m not caught up in wanting more things.  I don’t feel the overwhelming need to keep up with the Joneses.  I know eventually that our financial situation will improve.  This is only temporary.

In the Beatitudes many people quote it as saying blessed are the poor.  But it actually says “blessed are the poor in spirit” and my Wesleyan study bible refers to that as meaning humility.  Blessed are those who have a spirit of humility for they shall inherit the kingdom.

Humility is a much talked about virtue but it’s not always an embraced virtue.  Being happy with what you have.  Sharing your gifts with others, not looking for the limelight when you do something.  It can be a tough road to walk when you live in a society that preaches so strongly against such an idea!  Somehow, you should never be satisfied.  Somehow, you should always be wanting more.  Working, striving, questing, never having enough.  Working to better ourselves is not wrong, but when you define “bettering yourself” as only a dollars and cents equation, you’ll find that you are never satisfied.  You get that promotion or pay raise and it’s an empty victory because it is still not enough.  What was the price for that victory?  How many missed dinners?  Or missed ball games, or recitals?  How much living have you missed out on because you’re trying to “make a living?”

I may be poor, money wise, by U.S. standards but I can live with that!  I will admit that there are moments of melancholy when I wish I could go out and buy something because I really do need to replace a certain item but they pass.  I still have more things than a vast majority of the people in the world.  I have things that money can’t buy-time with my family and nature at my doorstep.  Things could be so much worse!

Let us remember what really matters in life.  It’s not how much money you make.  It is about how you live and how much you love.  That is the thing that truly matters!  Everything else is secondary, regardless of what the media tries to tell you!  Blessed are the poor in spirit because they will inherit the kingdom!  Amen!

Grief and Mourning

After the flash flooding hit my hometown, a good friend of mine posted that his parents had lost everything on the first floor.  An acquaintance posted in response "things can be replaced."  My friend replied "that's easy to say when it is not your things."  I was reminded of the comment when I watched an interview with a business owner who was in the middle of clean up and you could clearly see the anger and hear the frustration in their voice as they talked about the response.  My first thought was "wow, take it easy, you survived!"  Then I remembered my friends words.  It's easy to say that when it is not happening to you.  It's easy to say when you're not smelling the mold and dealing with mud and having to throw out items.  It wasn't so much the loss of the item that was upsetting to these individuals, it was more about the memories that the particular item evoked.  These folks needed time to grieve as the reality of their situation became starkly clear.  Yet the world was demanding that they move on and rebuild.

In contrast, we have September 11th coming upon us.  It has been 10 years since that awful day.  Memorial services are planned all around the country to mark the somber occasion.  We will grieve and we will mourn yet again.  Personally I do not have a problem with memorial services.  I do have a problem though with the media who started rebroadcasting the images all over the place again.  The follow up interviews, the "never before seen" footage, the "new and previously not revealed" stories and voice mails and answering machine messages.  When does the information cross the line from being helpful for healing to obsessive and counter productive?  How much is enough?  When does it become too much?

People experience loss all the time and we have sort of this ingrained rating system on how long we think someone should grieve.  You get a divorce, well get over it and get back out in the dating game, we tell our friends.  You lose a job or a business, well, get over it and find another or come up with a new idea.  If a child dies, or a spouse or a parent, we tell people how sorry we are for the loss and then in the same breath tell them how fortunate they were to have known this individual and how we are sure that they would want them to move on with their life.  My point here is that the loss is real and people need time to mourn and to grieve and we have a tendency to not give them the time they need!

On the other hand, sometimes we exploit grief.  And I'm sorry, but that is exactly what I think the media is doing this year with their wall to wall specials on 9/11.  It was awful, it was horrible, I will never forget it but I for one do not need to relive that day over and over again!  A memorial service where you gather to remember and to share hugs and stories is one thing.  Dicing, slicing and rehashing is another thing all together!  It is, in a way, like ripping the scab off a wound and poking and prodding around in the gaping hole and wondering why it won't heal.

Jesus, in his wonderful Beatitudes sermon said "Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted."  Just exactly how much comfort are we giving to those who mourn?    Perhaps it's time to start giving people the room they need to mourn and grieve in their own way without interference.  Maybe it is time to just hold their hand and give them a little comfort.  Let's give people the room to heal.

As for me, I have learned the fine art of turning the television, radio and news feeds off.  If enough of us choose to do that maybe the media will finally get the message.  I can only hope....