Celebrate! Time for Family and Friends

Today is another celebration day at our house!  My youngest son, Randy, turns 11 today.  My how time flies!  Not only does he pick his cake but he gets his choice of dinner as well!  It is a family tradition!  And of course, there are presents but the big event is the celebration, not the gifts!

When I stop and reflect, I am always amazed at the changes I see in my children.  Subtle changes perhaps, but there always seems to be glimpses of who they will become and who they might turn out to be.  With Randy in particular because of Asperger's even the subtle changes are huge victories!  A "normal" kid with "quirks" learning how to successfully cope with a world that doesn't think like he does and doesn't deal well with someone who isn't like everyone else-let me tell ya, those are hard won victories!  Any challenge that my children overcome is worthy of celebration because it is the small victories that keep us going and keep us sane!

I've been reminded of this as I have spent time reminiscing with former and current residents of my hometown of Waterbury.  It's not about things that we bought.  It's about places we went and times spent together.  And it is about celebrating the people who made these events possible.  Everyone is sharing their stories, their memories and even some photos for a wonderful trip down memory lane!  It's about swimming at the old swimming hole or roller skating in the school gym.  It's about the police chief who would take a young teen home instead of hauling them off to jail.  It's about the fact that if you did something, good or bad,  your parents knew about it before you got home because everyone knew their neighbors and they kept an eye out for each other.  This was and still is a community that cared about each other and cared for each other.  The stories that are told about places we used to go and events we used to attend reflect this subtle understanding of just how special this community has been in our lives.  They are connections worth celebrating!

Proverbs has a couple of wonderful gems on the importance of family and friends.  Chapter 17 in The message paraphrase says this:

"Friends love through all kinds of weather, and families stick together in all kinds of trouble"

Here's another one from Chapter 18:

"Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family."

 Our society tells us that we should obsess over what we do not have.  We should, by default, always strive for more instead of celebrating what we already have in front of us.  I would like to suggest that instead of striving for "things" how about striving for something that in the long run really matters?  How about striving to connect more with family and friends?  We all long for that sense of community and that sense of belonging!  Why not celebrate those connections with those we love the most-our family and friends!  And who says that it has to be a carefully planned elaborate affair?  Some of the best get-togethers happen when someone just stops by to say hello!  These are your friends and your family-they know what you look like without makeup and they know what your house looks like with a sink full of dishes!  These are people who have shared your joys and your sorrows.  They have been a part of your fun times and they have been in on the scrapes and bumps along the way.  Through thick or thin they have been there!  What you have doesn't matter to them.  What matters to them is you!  Give yourself permission to just enjoy being with them!

Share a cup of coffee or cup of tea!  Share a donut and a good joke.  Get a group together to go to a picnic in the park or Chicken Pie Supper at the local church.  Fire up the grill or roast marshmallows around the fire pit.  Take time to celebrate the simple ordinary things with those that matter most-your family and friends!  These are the moments that memories are made from.  The moments that count are the moments that you share with those who truly care! 

Make time to celebrate!

My Birthday Wish

It's my birthday and I'll write what I want to!  hee hee hee

Actually, I do that most days anyway!  It's real simple-I wish for joy and happiness for my family and friends.  I believe if you can find joy even in the smallest of things than you have a spark of hope!  Don't underestimate the importance of hope.  It goes hand and hand with faith and even a small portion will move mountains!

Today I turn 43.  Not a milestone birthday but it's another birthday that I can celebrate which, in my mind, is better than the alternative.  I still have lots and lots of things I want to do.  Places to go.  Things to see.  Things I want to learn about.  Most importantly, people to love on!  I have made mistakes-some were doozeys!  I have suffered through some rough patches.  I've had times of feeling helpless and hopeless.  I have been a failure!  I have earned every wrinkle and gray hair!  I wouldn't change it because I am the person that I am because of where I have been!

Despair is a terrible disease.  It is grief and anger, hopelessness and helplessness, bitterness and loss of joy all rolled up in to one.  So many people today are feeling this way.  They don't see any hope.  They don't feel any joy.  They feel trapped and pinned in to a corner with no way out!

I know how that feels, I've been there and I don't mean figuratively or philosophically.  I mean I know what it's like to be at the very bottom clinging on desperately by your fingernails and wanting to just let go because you're tired of fighting.  My name is Trudy and I even failed at attempting suicide many years ago.  I am the ultimate epic fail!  Yes, I have been there.

I don't talk about it much.  It's a dark chapter with a long journey.  But it was a turning point-a wake up call!  You see, I survived.  I got to see the aftermath and the impact and how devastated my family and friends would have been had I actually succeeded.  I thought I was alone.  I thought even God had abandoned me. 

That my friends is a big fat lie and it is the greatest self-deception out there!  You're never alone!  You may not believe it right now, but trust me, I speak the truth because I have been there!

The question I was asked most was why-why would I even consider suicide as a possibility?  The best answer I have is being soul weary.  If you could see my soul-you'd see a bleeding gash here, a festering sore there and a gray almost lifeless lump barely breathing-struggling for every breath.  The pain is always there, it never goes away and you've lived this way for so long that you have given up all hope that it will ever change.  The only thought is ending the pain.  You're not trying to purposely hurt anyone else or exact revenge, you simply want to stop the pain.

I know what it is like to experience that still small voice of God because I heard it on that day.  It was a moment of crystal clear clarity.  I didn't really want to die!  I wanted to live!  I remember with tears rolling down my face praying one last prayer "God I don't want to die but I don't know how to live."  And that still small voice answered back "you're not going to die today because you have things that you need to do, you WILL live!"  And I did!

My homeroom teacher showed up at that moment.  He literally dragged/carried me to the nurse's office where I took a dose of Ipecac and spent the next few hours throwing up every pill I swallowed.  I owe my life to Tom Sargeant, one of my homeroom teachers, and Cindy Senning the school nurse who alternated between holding the pan and holding me!  My family, my friends they held me a lot tighter too.  They were angry, they were hurt, they wanted to understand but most importantly, they wanted me to know that they loved me and that I didn't have to go it alone! 

Healing did not come overnight.  It was a process that had to be worked through.  But healing did come and so did hope and joy and happiness.  It came from love!

I am blessed.  I got a second chance.  Life hasn't always been easy since then but I have never given up hope!  I am happy.  I do have joy! 

So when I say that my birthday wish for my family and friends is joy and happiness I mean it with all sincerity!  I don't want anyone to ever feel that they are alone!  I don't want them to feel that there is no hope!  I'm here, I love them and I want the very very best for them!  And I promise, I'll hold them very tight and I won't let go!  You are never alone!

If you are reading this and you are at the place that I describe, reach out, grab a family member or friend and let them help!  If you are a friend, don't wait to be asked, just go and help! 

And to my beloved family and friends-thank you for not giving up on me.  Thank you for holding tight and carrying me when I needed help.  Thank you for kicking my butt when appropriate!  Thank you for loving me-warts and all!  I am blessed indeed!

Happy birthday to me!